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On today’s run I listened to the latest episode of the always enjoyable and highly recommended
“Infinite Monkey Cage”. I enjoy the blend of education and comedy and in this episode there was lots to think about as well as some extended riffs about the ancient brain teaser about the man with a wolf, a goat and a bag of cabbages (though I always knew it as a fox, a chicken and some grain) and how he gets them across a river with a boat that can only support him and two of his possessions at at time. What’s the man doing with a wolf and how has he trained it well enough to follow him around without attacking his master, and yet not managed to train him to not attack the goat when the man is absent? Such questions entertainingly diverted the panel.
This episode resonated with me as it’s about the mathematics and psychology of playing games and looked at poker, Scrabble and Monopoly, games which I devoted a lot of my time and thought. The mathematician on the panel suggested that, dependent of number of players, the red set of houses is the best to buy, as they are most often landed on, due to the jail square being the square that has the most starting rolls from. I have always felt the orange was best, for the same reason (and it was acknowledged that this was the case with fewer players), but due to price differential and the importance of getting a set and building hotels as soon as possible, I actually think the light blues might be the best bet. They are often all bought within the first round of the board and if you can trade your more expensive properties in for them and complete the set quickly you can have hotels by the time that your opponents are coming round the board the second time. There’s a slight risk of you having no money left after doing this, but also no other player is likely to have a set or any houses so as long as you can hold a bit of money back you are pretty much safe. I think the red set takes a little bit too long to get properties on (and it’s harder to persuade your opponents to swap their reds and thus harder to get the set). I play Monopoly a lot- admittedly against an imaginary penguin, snowman and taxicab on my phone, and they are not always great at appreciating the value of what they have and massively overestimate the value of getting the electric company and waterworks set (absolutely worthless) and underestimate the value of getting the railways (particularly valuable as there are two cards on the iPhone version that advance the player to the next station and charge them double rent when they land on it). I nearly always win. It’s pointless playing really. I generally only get caught out if one of the players gets the dark blues and gets very lucky with the rest of us landing on them quite quickly.
So yeah, Monopoly is really about how well you understand the values of the properties and how gullible your opponents are in negotiations. I hate playing it against real people. I find some kind of comfort in mindlessly playing it against a computer even though I know I will almost certainly win. I’d like to know the psychology of that really.
There was also an interesting chat about the number values of Scrabble letters and how although the spread was pretty accurate when Butts (who invented the game) set it in the 1930s (he went through the New York Times and worked out frequency of letters that way) nowadays the Z is much more prevalent and shouldn’t really have a value of 10. But the Scrabble community wouldn’t allow it to be changed. Also to answer your question, Brian Cox (or whoever it was), of course there is a three letter word beginning with X. It is xis. You idiot. Imagine knowing how a black hole works and not knowing that. Who is the really clever one here.
Anyway, it was a rare Monkey Cage where I generally knew as much or more than the panel of experts, but it was still fun to hear them talk about it. For me. For the rest of you I imagine it was about as much fun as reading this blog. But fuck it. I will talk about what I want to talk about and given that everything else in the world is out of my control and going in a direction that I really don’t like, I am going to escape into the world of game theory, where I am safe and in control and a winner. Not a loser like you are thinking now.
I am also delighted to see Robin Ince doing so well - with these shows, tours and now a book deal. He was always a ridiculously hard working stand up and has now carved out a niche for himself doing funny stuff about science and books. He is really excellent at it and having seen the graft and time that has gone into it, it's very satisfying and deserved to see all that paying off.
Obviously he's a prick. I can't just be nice about him. But that's how you do it people. Slowly, tortuously, over many years, always wanting to give up but never quite managing it. Doing something you love and hoping other people will like it too..... obviously doesn't work out for everyone. But if you're wondering how you become a successful comedian. That's basically it.
