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Halloween in the countryside and thank God I bought a lot of sweets because a) we had over a dozen knocks on the door and always with multiple ghosts (one time there were 14 little ghoulies with their little sacks open) and b) because every time anyone came to the door I would eat a handful of sweets too. I was sick in my mouth three times.
We had managed to locate two pumpkins in time to make them into scary faces this afternoon (and then who knows what will become of them once the kids are in bed) and Phoebe dressed up as a monster and Ernie dressed up as a Hungry Caterpillar (possibly the scariest Halloween creature of all - if you are an apple). Phoebe was a bit scared by the first three visitors (who to be fair, did look like they were about 17, but I recall Trick of Treating out in Cheddar when I was into my teens and enjoying the glee of pretending to still be little children and wishing that we were). In Shepherd’s Bush we often got no one coming over on Halloween, but there was a constant stream of visitors tonight and I liked being part of this community. I wondered if there was anyone else actually still in their house. Maybe it was the same dozen kids looping round, delighted they’d found someone at home. Next year, perhaps, Phoebe can join in, but for now she stayed in and ate some sweets, like her dad (but not as many).
I’d had quite a tough day looking after my children. The podcasts are exhausting enough and I used to need a day to more or less veg out after them even before I had kids waking me up every two hours. But I had to fight through the tiredness and cope with a baby who wouldn’t settle and complained his way through the day (except when he was dressed as a caterpillar - maybe that;s what he wanted). Catie had some friends over, but took them to the station at 5pm when Phoebe has her tea and I found out what it is to cope with two awake kids whilst you’re trying to do two or three other tasks. I dropped Phoebe’s pasta on the floor so had to make her scrambled eggs, Ernie was crying in his Moses basket so I had to try and make the eggs with him in one arm and the fork in the other, then Phoebe fell off her chair and bumped her head and I had to put crying Ernie down to pick up my huge daughter and comfort her. I usually love the chaos, but I was starting to drown in it tonight and willing my wife to return quickly so that I wouldn’t have to greet her with the news that I had broken both children. I am sure she wouldn’t mind just having some more.
In better news I did manage to build my Green Johanna composter in spite of the fact that there were no instructions in the box and the instructions on line seemed to assume you’d be technically competent enough to complete this fairly basic task without pictures. I did make it a bit harder than it needed to be, but eventually worked out how to get it together and that the doors slotted in from above not below. Never assume competence manufacturers. There are people as stupid as me out here.
Still I felt inordinately proud when the thing in my garden resembled the picture on the box and it had only taken me an hour (rather than the suggested ten minutes).
Anyway, Hertfordshire Council can suck my dick if they think they are going to get their hands on my precious garden and kitchen waste. It’s all mine and I am not paying you £40 a year to take it away. I am going to turn it into compost. Unless I fuck that up. In which case I am going to turn it into a big bin of non-rotting rubbish.
Happy Halloween. It’s the best of all the eens.
