Oh no! The first one-star review on Amazon
for the new Emergency Questions book. It’s from Paul Mason (not that one?) and it says "I use this book to prop open my garden shed door. It has all the subtlety of a mediaeval executioner's blunt axe.”
You’d think that it being such a help in keeping his door open might merit the second star, but he is a hard taskmaster.
His headline reads "Please give your money to Battersea Dogs Home or any other deserving charity
” and I contacted him, hoping the fact that I had taken on two rescued cats from that establishment might make him feel better about his foolish purchase. But he didn’t respond. Someone else pointed out that he could eBay the book and raise money for the charity if he cared that much. But Paul has a door stop for his garden shed (I wish I had a garden shed) so he’s not giving it up for any one.
Of course, one bad review doesn’t really matter and comedy is subjective and although it’s sad to think someone has bough something I have done and expected it to be subtle and been disappointed (or was it so subtle that Paul wasn’t able to spot the subtlety? Yes is the answer to that), you can’t and shouldn’t please everyone. I expect Ian Cuisinart was hurt by my truthful review of his Cuisinart GRSM1U Sandwich Maker, 1000 W - Silver that I wrote a few years back. Though he shouldn’t be that sandwich toaster was shit. And yes I spent £50 on a sandwich toaster. Loads more than that in fact, because I’ve bought loads of the fucking things over the years and they all broke. What can I say? I like toasted sandwiches and demand a heavy duty one that can cope with my demands.
There is still time for a pre-Christmas surge and we’ve sold a few copies, but the Emergency Questions book is not selling as fast as we’d hoped (certainly after the huge success of our self-published one). There is a lot of excellent competition in the market of course. Obviously if it does well then that will be a big boost for the podcast, so if you’ve enjoyed the output and not contributed before, then chuck a tenner in my direction and get a brilliant book/efficient door stop.
I won £5 on online gambling today. Still a profit is a profit.
Soon you will find out how I did on House of Games. Tune in Monday 12th November – Thursday 15th November, 6pm, BBC2 and Friday 16th November, 7pm, BBC2. It’s a cracking week of fun. And winning isn’t everything. It’s more important than that.
Once it’s over I will put up a picture of my trophy cabinet. Though some people argue that it can just be called a cabinet.
Dripsters! Your bi-monthly new live show has just been updated. For the next two months you will be able to watch the long out of print and critically acclaimed Hitler Moustache! Become a dripster here
And we’ve got the prototype copy of the RHLSTP Rubik’s cube through. And it looks amazing. These aren’t going to be available to sell (I might eBay any spares though) and are just for those wise enough to invest in the last kickstarter. Hope you enjoy them.