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Tuesday 6th November 2018
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Tuesday 6th November 2018


I attempted to record an introductory episode to my new Stone Clearing podcast, but sadly my 45 minute ramble recorded, but did not get saved. I will try again tomorrow. In  a sense it’s more of an artistic statement if none of the podcasts record and my thoughts are lost in the ether. But that probably won’t get many downloads.
To be fair, neither will the podcast.

I managed to complete my final drafts of all four episodes of Relavity (or as the cool kids are calling it “R”) this morning. It’s a huge relief to have this monkey off my back at last and to be a week away from the fun bit of getting together with all the actors. But in the end, as always, I enjoyed the work and I am pretty pleased with the results. The scripts are funny, I hope, but cover some serious ground. Will anyone notice it this time round? Who knows? But I believe it is out on Radio 4 in January.
Usually Tuesdays are a bit of a write-off for me as I am exhausted from podcasting, but I somehow managed to push through despite a 7am start and just about stayed awake for an afternoon and early of evening of child-care, as my wife worked on her new book. It’s great that we can tag team like this, but also great that I get to spend quality time with the kids. 
I took Ernie into town to buy his first pair of shoes. He’s walking well now and this is a momentous moment in anyone’s life and a point where it feels possible that you might be able to create the art exhibit of “Walk a Mile in my Shoes” where all footwear from your life is laid out in a line to show the progress of a human being via what their feet were shod in. It was funny to see how confused Ernie was by having heavy trainers on the ends of his legs and he struggled to walk in them to be fair. But equally exciting to share this moment with him and have to accept that he’s no longer a baby, but a toddler. If a slightly drunken one for the moment until he can recalculate the physics required to balance with shoes on.
We raced round the supermarket and then I went to pick up Phoebe from nursery. We read “Charlie Cook’s Favourite Book” together - which is a very enjoyable conceit and has some lovely extra little gags in it and ate some rock cakes Phoebe had made and watched more of the extraordinarily unsettling and weird “Mother Goose Club”. I was fading fast and almost falling asleep, but got through bath time and took Wolfie for a walk.
It’s strange being on the field in the dark, but I managed to gather a few more stones. I thought a bag had got caught up in the tree above my main cairn, but then saw that someone had put up a laminated piece of paper with a description of the stones as an art work. It read “Herring’s Mound
circa 2018
Medium: Stones, mud.
A temporal collection of hardened sediment, gathered and displayed as a comment on space, time and the futility of actions in the modern age.
This is a work in progress, for more information see the artist’s website;“

I had been rumbled, (presumably) by a local. And whilst I appreciated the gag and the effort, the addition did blow my (admittedly quite light) cover. I don’t really want people to know that it’s me doing this and I certainly don’t want to alert the farmer. I want people to wonder where the magical walls are appearing from and assume that it is fairies.
Also it’s a slightly passive-aggressive attempt for a stranger (perhaps a nemesis) to let me know that they know who am I and where I live. 
I am sure that this person is joining in with the fun and enjoyed the joke, but equally I want to keep as many dog walkers in the dark about this for as long as possible (though to be fair, I think they’ve probably all worked it out by now), so the sign has to be removed. 
We will see if that leads to a war between me and my smited critic or whether they accept my reasoning. But it matters naught either way. Someone trying to destroy my monuments to human insignificance is merely adding the the art. There is no way to defeat the art. Even by destroying me then the work just takes on a greater significance.
So thanks mystery stranger. I hope you won’t mind that I have attempted to keep my Bruce Wayne identity a secret. Not sure Bruce Wayne wrote a blog about how he was Batman secretly though. But I would respect him more if he did.

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