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Sunday 6th January 2019


Three dog walks and a visit to the park with the kids today meant I burned up nearly 900 calories through exercise. I had to take the long dog walk away from the field to make sure I didn’t go mad and it’s a long uphill path to a lovely old church. I find it hard not to clear stones off the path though. It’s now instinct to try and kick any lose bit of flint into the bushes. I am not mental.
But there’s nothing like a man and his dog enjoying a Sunday afternoon walk together. It’s one of the things that makes me realise I was right to leave London and all the showbiz parties behind. That and the fact that I never got invited to the showbiz parties.
And everyone in London hates me. And dogs don’t understand human personality flaws. Or at least forgive them.
The countryside is so boring. It amazes me that I've managed to keep the blog going for the last 18 months and actually got a few interesting entries. At least I hope I have. This probably won't be one of them.
Other than that I was mainly looking after the kids and marvelling at how quickly my daughter is mastering language, scooting and singing and at how my son still seems intent on killing himself. Today he wriggled out of the straps that held him in the chair at the kitchen table whilst I had my back turned getting him some lunch and fell mouth first on to the floor. He was pretty much OK. But it’s his third injury in three days so I can’t take him out in daylight lest people think we’re beating him up. 
Phoebe wanted to draw faces on our fingers and sing the Daddy Finger song and then faces on the fingers of the other hand and do “This Little Piggy”. She did a decent job of remembering the words and roughly carried the tune, but most impressively she was acting the songs out and showing the necessary emotion. I made a video and then she wanted to make more…. It’s like I have somehow made a clone of all the worst bits of myself…
At bath time she also told me about Carol who lives inside the Universe and can’t be seen but who does naughty things, but is trying to be good now because people don’t like her. You have to respect that someone called Carol can be that magical and evil. I didn’t quite understand the whole tale, but was obviously trying to hide the fact that I was freaked out that my daughter is communicating with demons. Some of whom must be called Carol.

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