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Monday 25th February 2019

5927/18947

Today it was my turn to leave my wife with the kids whilst I went and did some podcasts. Revenge is sweet. 
Still podcasting is just like parenting, except the people you’re talking to are more childish, but it’s nice to be out of the house and Suzi Ruffell and Joel Dommett are both great stand-ups and as always this Monday job, which for the precious moment is my only job (apart from attempting to raise two kids) , is a pure delight. Some funny stories about being caught out wanking, some serious chats about coming out and class. The show continues to get better with age, unlike its host. And we’re about to make some changes in the way the audio comes to you, so we will see if it can become self-sufficient  too.
I’ve resisted returning to some of the old emergency questions in recent years, but a couple got a little run out this evening and were greeted like old friends by the self-fellatio hungry audience.
Before the show I had recorded a voice over of Pig Brother for a piece of experimental theatre and gone to the Apple store to finally get my useless broken computer back. The fault was theirs so the repair was free, but it’s been a long fortnight away from my laptop with a RHLSTP Alan Sugar emailer phone “I’m one of the cool kids” sticker, stuck over the Apple logo. I had everything backed up but was mildly dreading working out how to reinstall it all. But hooray! The disc had not been wiped. Which means Ian Apple has had access to everything on my hard drive… uh oh. It is embarrassingly free of anything that could destroy me. Ian Apple just laughs at my pathetic vanilla life.
Ian Apple did not offer to give me any recompense for the fortnight without my computer though. He is a fucking dick. Ian Amstrad wouldn’t have treated me this way.  But I will still keep buying Ian Apple’s products. I love it when he treats me like shit. Here’s another thousand pounds for a phone because my last one stopped working, you cock hole.
PLease let me keep having your stuff. I didn't mean to be rude. I love you Ian Apple.


RHLSTP comes to the Lowry in Salford on 25th May. Book now as the last Manchester gig sold out in double quick time. No guests booked as yet 
We are announcing the rest of the confirmed tour dates later this week- 


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