Warming Up

My family had been out at the park as I prepared for today’s podcast. Yes, I prepare. 

They came back in and Phoebe had been promised a doughnut - there were two waiting in the fridge.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, “I ate both of those when you were out.”

My daughter didn’t seem convinced. “You didn’t,” she said, “You’re always tricking me.”

That is true. 

“I know,” I said, “But I really wanted them.”

“You can’t have eaten two doughnuts,” she reasoned, “Because if you ate two doughnuts you’d be sick.”

I can confirm that that is incorrect but in any case said that I was sick.

“Where is the sick then?”

“In the bin.”

Was she falling for it? Who knows. But at that point her mum got the doughnuts out of the fridge.

“See,  I told you” said Phoebe.

“April fool!” I replied. As we still use this greeting after any kind of prank.

Phoebe was angry that I had suggested she’d been fooled when she hadn’t and suddenly shouted at me, really aggressively, "I didn’t trick for it, mate.”

Not only was the phrasing and the aggression very amusing, but also the previously unheard of use of “mate”. I am not sure where she got that from, but she’s never called me mate before. And the aggression made it super funny.

But we now have a new catchphrase. So I am happy.

On the way down to the podcast (which came very close to being the biggest seller of the run (but was about 15 sales behind Osman) I passed one of Al Murray’s big posters (on the windy street between Greyfriar’s Bobby and The Grassmarket). Al’s eyes had trails of real blood coming out of them, like bloody tears, so either this is a miracle and Al is the new Messiah (very possible) or less likely someone happened to be bleeding or be with someone who was bleeding fairly near to the poster and decided to use the blood to create a modern day Edinburgh miracle. Either way that’s pretty extraordinary. And scary.

But whoever is trying to make me think that Al is Jesus - I didn't trick for it, mate."

Today’s podcast is here