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An early morning stone clear and in the podcast I am starting to toy with the idea of giving you too much of my pre and post stone clearing life, until eventually each episode is 24 hours long or it’s just a fly on the wall documentary. As I try to come to terms with the apparent failure of the Ditch that Ftopped Brexit (yet Brexit still hasn’t happened) and look into what gap in my life the stones are attempting to fill, it’s quite a poignant and emotional 50 minute journey. But there’s still plenty of stuff about whether you should shit on your stones, to keep the purists happy.
Tuck into the podcast here.
Only 3 more to the big 50.
I will never stop this podcast. Unless I am burdered.
Mainly parenting today, which in spite of what my podcast version claims, is mainly a heart-warming delight. I was solo from school pick up and took the kids to the supermarket. It was surprisingly easy, but I did placate them both with the promise of a bun. I got them a pizza for our dinner and in the car on the way home my daughter informed me that pizza grows on trees in Italy. In fact, she clarified, all pizzas come from the same tree. Apparently the one tree grows pizzas with all the different toppings. I was surprised by this, but she told me her teacher had told her this. I wasn’t in a position to argue with that kind of authority and I said, so should I ask you teacher about this tomorrow? If Phoebe had been lying I would have expected her to be spooked by that question and either confess or try to deflect, but she said, yes, I should ask him and if he wasn’t there, her other teacher would confirm it. So I guess that’s true then.
This would have been enough to convince the gullible viewers of 1970s Panorama.
What a joy it is to have this little lying genius around to spin palpalbly stupid stories for me and keep a straight face.
I am pretty good at them too. On the way to the supermarket we’d passed a parked car transporter lorry with its tracks down as a car was preparing to drive off. It’s been a long term ambition of mine to drive up on to one of those lorries (preferably when it’s moving) and I said I was thinking of doing so. My daughter was concerned that I would be sent to prison if I did that. I told her that I’d probably just annoy the driver and this led to a discussion about the sorts of things that would get you sent to prison, which is a bit delicate when you’re talking to a four year old who is already mentally scarred by watching Harry Potter too young. Her ideas of prison were a bit weird and hard to understand, but I think they were based on an episode of Oddbods. I tried to tell her that the Oddbods aren’t real and that they live by different rules, but we were getting bogged down in all sorts of issues by now. It is enormously confusing trying to make sense of the world when you are four. My daughter is doing pretty well though. Empathy, imagination and a tinge of madness. She will be a better comedian that I could ever hope to be. That’s my prediction.
It is so lovely just hanging out with these two maniacs and looking at their faces as they eat breakfast or watch TV. I can’t imagine where I’d be without them, but they bring me more happiness than I’ve ever known without even really having to do anything.
I enjoyed my pizza much more than I would have done if I hadn't known about the magic pizza tree.
RHLSTP 2020 - Early Norwich show on April 25th is SOLD OUT and there’s less than 50 tickets left for the later show (different guests)
The Birmingham RHLSTP on March 28th is also selling fast
There are five London ones too. It’s worth booking ahead as I am hoping to land 10 big name guests and I am sure these will all sell out. Snooty Londoners tend to wait til the guest announcements before booking, but I am considering putting the ticket prices up when the names are announced,
so book NOW .
More dates should be added, but not loads more
