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Saturday 14th March 2020

6320/19240

Still not well, but confident that sadly I am not the first comedian to contract the Corona Virus. Sadly because whoever gets there first will get to write the one person show about their struggles. Unless it kills them. But comedians don’t worry about that. I often find myself day dreaming about the most horrific of circumstances that could befall me and imagining the show I would write as a result. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you funnier. 
But so many comedians will get this that maybe only the one who dies will get to do the show. As a hologram. From beyond the grave.
We will find a way to make the best out of a bad situation. Though I am not sure all of us will be able to do that. I have some writing work to do if I get isolated, but so many stand ups scrape by on a gig by gig basis that even a fortnight of closed clubs would severely damage them and if we lose months of work….
And this is true of anyone who is self-employed or works in hospitality or shops or on zero hours contracts. And if families have to isolate together then that will lead to strains and unpleasantness and worse. The social and economic impacts could be much worse than the impact of the virus. And it’s not like that looks like being benign…
Anyway I didn’t do the Park Run because of my cold, but I took my daughter to her gym lesson. For now life goes on. But we all had to wash our hands on arrival and the bathroom got busy. I went for a wee near the end and opened the door to see one of the mums sitting on the loo. Luckily I looked away before seeing anything that might have embarrassed either of us. She had been in with her child who had unlocked the door and left her to it. But would that have happened if we weren’t all hand washing? Luckily we laughed it off.  Once you are parents you have lost your dignity anyway. One more person nearly seeing your bum doesn’t mean a thing.
Last night I had hoped that a couple of Old Fashioneds would be medicinal, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep and I am thinking that maybe I will go back to not drinking. Sleep is more important to me than the mild buzz of alcohol and I feel that drinking has lowered my defences. I had to have a nap after lunch and then went to bed at 8.30pm. 
At least I saw a glimpse of a stranger on a toilet or my life and my blog would mean nothing.


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