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I was a bit worried about how the Corona Virus was going to impact on me financially, especially if the Edinburgh Fringe gets cancelled and I lose all that rent money, but luckily my troubles are over because I got this email today
This is Official notice of unclaimed fund of 10.5 Million left by Mr. Herring ,who died in a car crash.Upon your positive response,I will make all the information known to you once i confirm your willingness. Regards Mark
It was a bit weird how badly typed it was for an official notice and also it seemed a bit informal that the bloke contacting me signed himself Mark. But my guess is that he is trying to pal up to me because he’s hoping I might give him some money. He must think I am very gullible. It’s my money. Mr Herring is my relative. I am keeping the lot, mate.
I am a buit concerned that he doesn’t say what it is 10.5 million of though. Knowing my luck it will be trim phones.
But enjoy your virus suckers. I am off to live on an island with all the other mega rich celebrities and there is an official policy of no germs allowed.
Germs is our nickname for poor people.
I did some more twitching on http://twitch.tv/rkherring - an early morning stone clear and in the evening a draw for the upcoming World Self-Playing Snooker Championship in which 16 Mes will battle it out for the prize of £100 in cash. It’s the only live-streamed sport available in the world right now so let Sky Sports and BT Sport and Bet Fred know to make their bids to me. I will give sponsorship of the event to the highest bidder. At the moment you have £100 to beat, but email me at herring1967@gmail.com if you fancy having the cup named after you and your branding displayed on screen.
Phoebe’s first year at school seems to be over with just one a half terms completed. It’s a terrible thing to happen to all of our students and I don’t see how they are going to fix it, especially if things go on beyond September. And how will the nation’s parents be able to operate without their kids being at school? It will be interesting to become a teacher next week. Phoebe was keen to visit the website where the resources are, so I had a bit of a head start this evening. It was fun (for now).
But much as I know we have to do this to prevent deaths, I am not sure people realise how destructive to many lives isolation is going to be. We have to pull together for the people who will be alone and vulnerable, but also the people who will be with others and vulnerable. It’s not just the old and ill who are at risk and I am feeling queasy about the possibilities.
This is going to be much tougher than anyone is really realising at the moment.
And what about the people who are single - do they have to give up on dating for all those months? And what about the bigamous people with two families? I mentioned this possibility to one of my wives tonight and she seemed to not find it funny, but I told her she should be pleased as this was the family I’d chosen to hunker down with. I will miss Clive, Esme and Colin though.
And to raise some more advertising money to pay the cast and to add more hopefully to the comedians’ fund we are going to be releasing old episodes of AIOTM every Friday until we run out of them. If you listen to them there then the ads will bring in money and I can finally pay Christian, Dan and Emma for their contribution and hopefully make some charity money too. Just a little thing, but if we can all help a few people get through all this then it might not be quite so bad. Listen here and relive the year 2009, a simpler and more offensive time.
