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My wife very kindly let me have a lie-in this morning and although I had had another disturbed night I got to sleep until 8.15am (which is 2pm in pre-baby money) and only had one awful dream about preparing to cut off my son’s finger tips with a paper slicer (luckily I woke up before I went through with the unnecessary operation and got sent to dream prison). It was upsetting both because I love my son and do not want him to be hurt and also because by doing this I would have created an awful lot of hassle for myself in getting him to hospital etc.
Apparently a lot of people are having disturbing and peculiar dreams in lockdown.
I felt a lot better when I woke(apart from the psychological trauma of wondering where that dream came from - I do require Joseph after all).
That extra couple of hours gave me the energy to get involved with making a big cushion fort and playing three little pigs and being the kind of dad I should be and occasionally am.
We went for a long afternoon walk again and this time I had the energy to complete it (even with my son in the back pack) without collapsing. It wasn’t quite as golden and sunny as last week’s walk and the bluebells were fading, but in my memory these weekend expeditions will all meld into one happy time, punctuated by us trying to avoid getting within two metres of passers-by.
It’s easy to forget when I am knackered and down that about 90% of my problems come from sleep deprivation. Most domestic disharmony only occurs when we are the end of our tethers. Of course that is more likely to happen in the long seemingly never-ending nightmare of lockdown (though I think, if anything, we’ve all been doing better than usual on the whole).
We had a fun tea time where we took a big square plain pizza and added our own toppings to it. And I drank two beers. Life definitely seems better when you’re tipsy at 5.30pm. And I was more or less sober by bath time. And my son ended the day with all his finger tips, so so much for dreams being prophetic.
Tonight I had planned to do a non-director’s commentary of Total Recall but decided to take a rain-check for my own sanity and to have a nice time with my wife. We watched Knives Out, which I’d heard was good, but didn’t know too much about. It was good. I don’t think I could do a non-director’s commentary about it though.
