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Friday 22nd May 2020


Which begs the question What percentage of human would a mouse have to have before it was no longer considered morally wrong to have sex with it? It’s less than 100 is all I know.
We’re 3% Neanderthal but no one gets sent to prison for bestiality every time they have sex with a human, so there must be a mouse percentage that is acceptable.
I don’t want to have sex with a mouse. I am not sick. Or that Hollywood actor. I want to have sex with a woman with realistic mouse ears, whiskers and a tail. Plenty of people do it with people dressed up as a mouse (I imagine) so is doing it with someone who has been specifically bred to look like that all the time really any more morally questionable.
I am not sick. I would order my mouse woman hybrid a good twenty years in advance so that she would be an adult by the time I got to meet her. And she’d have to want to have sex with the 73 year old me too (so I'd make 100 or so to increase the odds of one of them consenting). It’s all above board. I would only require that the chimera would have the right bits of mouse and woman because I don’t want to end up with a giant mouse with human mammary glands.
Or I’d at least expect a discount if that’s what we got to. I guess you wouldn’t have to wait so long for the mainly mouse one to be an adult either, so maybe this second option is better all round.
There are a lot of moral questions about scientists playing God with genetics, but you’d be very naive if you thought the main one isn’t about creating sexy hybrids between different species and where the percentage cut offs of acceptability lie.
Anyway that’s what I spent most of my day thinking about instead of working. But to be fair I wasn’t entirely better.
We watched JoJo Rabbit tonight (which I rented on the understanding it would be about some human/rodent hybrid) and it was very good indeed. Hitler has never been funnier, though I think they missed the obvious casting for the role (I’ve heard the actor they got was sleeping with the director). It was obviously filled with darkness and inhumanity and there are a few gut punches to deal with, and a reminder, if we needed it, how war and facism can rip families apart in a way that is terrifying to contemplate. But laughter and terror for the past and the future is a great way to spend a Friday evening. If you haven’t seen it yet then I heartily recommend it. It’s lovely and horrible.

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