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Wednesday 27th May 2020




6391/19311
Up to 14,000 words and just two rogue chapters to complete to have  a possible running narrative to chapter 14 (of 19). There’s a lot to do to make even the part I’ve written a viable book, but delighted that I am somehow making progress through the fug of lockdown.

Is the lockdown making us stupid or have we always been this way and now the stupid people have just started speaking up. Burning 5G masts or (I’ve just seen), paying over £300 for a USB stick to protect you from new technology)
Today Lord Sugar tweeted this meme
“Happy Birthday
Today every person in the whole world is the same age.
Today is a very special day. There’s only one chance every 1000 years
Your age this year + year of your birth, the total for every person is = 2020
Its so strange that even experts cant explain it. You figure it out and see if its 2020. Its a 1000 year wait! Take a shot! Let everyone calculate it!”

Lord Sugar, a tech millionaire who you think might understand maths tweeted “Strange but seems correct”

Was it possible that he was joking? From his responses to others suggesting he was missing something here, it seemed not.

If you ignore the bad grammar and that this in no way means that everyone is the same age, it’s not even correct. I am 52 and I was born in 1967 and that adds up to 2019. 
They could have made it seem more impressive by saying the sum was true for just one second (the last second of 2020), though it might have been questioned if we’d have to wait 1000 years for the next time that happened.
If a successful businessman can be freaked out by the fact that your birth year plus your age equals the current year (if you mean the age you will be at the end of this year) then it surely gives you hope that you might be a millionaire too and also it should make you question whether any conspiracy theories that rely on complex cover ups can be true. People aren’t clever enough for that. They are in fact stupid enough so stuff goes wrong and things fuck up and some of them are lucky enough to survive the damage they’ve accidentally caused and prosper.
I told Lord Sugar he needed to go back to the old drawing board and then pitched him a new show where he gathers contestants at an old drawing board, sets them tasks and then when they are knocked out of the competition later he says “Back to the Old Drawing Board” and sends them back to the old drawing board.
He didn’t bite for this, so I told him if he was looking for a catchphrase to replace his famous “I am no firing you” he could try one of my alternatives.
"Please leave now, you were never employed here. That’s the whole point of the programme” was my favourite
Though I also enjoyed @Michael_sas’
"Wivv wigwett, take your empty wheely case, leave the studio that’s mocked up as a boredroom, mutter some nonsense like “thanks fir the operatunnity”, and catch a pre-arranged black cab to nowhere whilst continuing to toss nuggets of wisdom without self-awareness to a camera crew.
I don’t know if boredroom is deliberate or not and I don’t care.

I always seem to get a lot done on Twitter when I am doing well with my writing. 

And managed to stay mainly unexhausted in spite of it being a very busy day, so maybe things are on the up.

The start of a new era - RHLSTP recorded remotely with Adam Buxton is now up on your audio feeds
Support us thru these weird times by subbing on Twitch (at no cost to yourself if you’re with Amazon Prime here’s how. Use a browser, not the app)
Or become a monthly badger at gfs. Ta my fine friends

And you can watch me chatting to the most excellent Greg Jenner here

Next week’s guest is Lauren Pattison.Wed 3rd June 8pm.


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