Well done Jesus. He is risen again and I think you have to admire him for that. Though I do think we tend to undermine his achievement somewhat with the principle ways we choose to celebrate them. The crucifixion we acknowledge by eating cinammony buns decorated with a little cross. That must have been some comfort to our Lord in his anguish. "Well these nails through my limbs sure do smart a bit, but at least I'll probably get a bun out of this!" Last night in Tesco I spotted some Mr Kipling Easter mince pies, which have slightly different flavour mince stuff inside them and are also decorated with a cross. That to me seems sacreligious. Surely it has to be a bun. Jesus would be spinning in his grave over this. You know if he hadn't pushed back the stone and walked and all. He may be spinning in Heaven. If they have exercise bikes up there (a little gag for you gym fans out there) Christ on a Bike!
Jesus was a meek and modest man and probably wouldn't have made too much of a fuss about the whole bun thing being his reward for a horrible death. I think he'd think it was just nice to be remembered. But once he'd managed to come back to life after at least 36 hours of being dead he would maybe hope for more than a chocolate egg to commemorate the experience. Not even a chocolate egg with a picture of him on it. Or a cross. Or even a halo. Just an egg with some chocolate buttons inside and maybe a puzzle on the box and not even a mention of him anywhere in the small print under the ingredients. Not just a chocolate egg of course. Maybe a chocolate rabbit or a chocolate chick. Why should a rabbit get the recognition. Has a rabbit ever been crucified? Probably by some horrible little child who had got sick of burning ants. But did the rabbit's death absolve mankind or even rabbit-kind of all their sins. No it didn't. At least a
chocolate rat would make some kind of sense and make me think again about my (necessary) role in absolving the many rat sins that have gone on throughout the centuries.
Like Judas, without my rat Pilate none of the rat absolution could have happened, so I'm not all bad.
I think Jesus would have a right to be pissed off about the whole Easter egg/rabbit thing. I don't even think chocolate is a suitable substance to remember Him by, even if we ate a chocolate Jesus. After all Jesus never ate chocolate (unless he magicked some up at some point, but it's not mentioned in the Bible and you'd think it would be, if he'd fed the 5000 with Mars Bars then that would surely have got in there). It undermines Jesus to celebrate his remarkable achievement in such a way. But again, like everything else I am sure he takes it on the cheek and then on the other cheek and says, "Well I am the Messiah, for your sins." I am sure he wouldn't resent anyone enjoying his death and subsequent reanimation by stuffing their faces with buns and sweets, even if they celebrate the thing that killed him and not anything he ever did.
On the Andrew Collings show one of the tabloids was upset that evil psychos like the Yorkshire Ripper and Beverley Allitt had been given a £3 Easter egg at tax payers expense. But I think if there is one time of the year when Jesus would want us to show some charity and generosity even to the most despicable people in the world then surely today is it. He'd say, let the Yorkshire Ripper have a bit of chocolate. He was only doing what my dad told him to do anyway - a bit like Judas. After all Jesus was amongst thieves and murderers when he was up there on the cross, dreaming of the buns that would one day be devoured in memory of this(if it was me I would hope the buns contained spikes instead of raisins so that people would know a little bit about my suffering, but Jesus was a bigger man than me). I am sure he'd have thought, you know it would be nice if all these people could have a bit of chocolate now, just to help them through their punishment. I hope he used his magic powers to do that. Imagine how great that would be if you'd never eaten chocolate before. Really good chocolate like Green and Blacks or something. Or a Cadbury's mini egg. I think it would take your mind off the nails and stuff for a few seconds. And if Christianity is about anything it's about forgiveness and kindness to those worse off than ourselves. I say let Peter Sutcliffe have a bit of chocolate. I'll happily pay for it myself. I don't agree with the things he did and I am glad he is in prison, but what kind of a monster would I be if I didn't think he should be allowed the occasional pleasure. He will after all be spending all eternity in Hell (where any chocolate they might have gets all melted and stuck to the wrappers). You know unless he has the wherewithal to apologise at the last minute in which case he's up in Heaven with the big chocolate river and all the Oompah Loompahs and everlasting gobstoppers.
As is my understanding.
Happy Easter everyone.
