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Friday 15th January 2021

6621/19542
Last day of filming (for me at least) and with another Covid test for everyone in the morning I decided to skip breakfast and have a lie-in instead. We were going to be filming late and I had a four hour drive home (assuming I didn't drive over any spikes) so it made sense. Plus I am on my rain-soaked, boot camp, student-wank-mattress holiday, so why not relax before returning to my the Hell of a centrally heated house with a proper sized bed and a family that love me?
It had actually stopped raining for the first time today and the sun was in the sky, emitting the frosty heat of a torch with flat batteries being shone 8 light minutes away. I wondered if the rain was actually a clever Welsh tactic to repel invaders. Only an idiot would come here and think it was worth conquering and staying here. Admittedly it was a bit of Pyrrhic victory for the Welsh, but maybe they had arranged it so the rain didn't hit them, or they all had cagoules. But maybe Wales had accepted us today and turned off the waterworks. Or maybe they'd just read the call sheet and realised that we were going home soon anyway.
The Covid test was a far cry from the brain busting first test on Monday and our tester was tender and gentle. Perhaps he had accepted us too. We were all negative so filming could continue. But not til the afternoon.
Originally I had been pegged to go home at lunchtime, but we hadn't covered many of the scenes in the skellington script, including two that were pivotal to the narrative. In earlier versions my character had been killed by an electric shock or was half-naked and seemingly dead on the floor (before coming back to life). I'd accepted this story arc was going to be lost in the process. There was talk of filming going on til 9pm, and with roadworks on the M4 I was concerned I might not get home til 2am, or maybe just not get home (I rarely stay up past 11 these days), but the director said he'd try to wrap me by 7pm. That's a technical term for finishing. He wasn't going to turn me into a massive present. But with an improvised script you can never discount anything.
I didn't get on to set until after 4pm and we still hadn't done the one scene that we definitely needed to. We did get to it by 6.30ish and even in the fridge like conditions of the castle (I don't know how they got it colder inside than outside) and the mad rush to finish, spirits remained high and there was much repressed giggling. It's been a great group of people to work with, though there were two green rooms due to Covid restrictions and the actors playing the bigger parts were in the other one (and the stars had their own rooms I think) so there was more connection between the gang of actors who had more down time than up time.
I thought we might manage to bring things home by just after 7, but it was closer to half past when we got all the shots for that scene and then it was revealed I had to do another one. But we decided to attempt that in more or less one shot (though the director snuck in a couple more angles) so I wrapped just after 8pm and got my round of applause from the crew. Which was thoroughly deserved.
I didn't get to really use my back story or show the vulnerability of the gammony man that I was playing, nor get electrocuted or naked (aside from showing my boobs earlier), but it was an education to be involved in something like this and I didn't feel self-conscious or out of place like I often have with acting. I've always been fearful that the proper actors are looking at me with pity or are annoyed that I am ruining it, but I think everyone's too wrapped up in what they're doing to think like that, unless someone is just terrible at the job. But lack of confidence and belief will make you bad at the job. With this one there wasn't time to be self-indulgent and people seemed impressed rather than pitying. A lot of the things that stifle us are self-imposed.
The drive home took just under four hours and I got home at almost exactly midnight, having just finished listen to the 2010 me talking about hoodies on Radio 4 extra. I found it mainly funny and hardly embarrassing at all. It was hard to believe that me and that guy were the same person. In many ways we aren't.
It was good to be home. As soon as I was in my kitchen ti felt like I hadn't been away at all. When I'd been at the castle it had felt like weeks since I'd seen my family.
They were all in bed, so I put a few pieces in the jigsaw. Less than five hours before I'd been a movie star (if being in five scenes in a feature film makes you a star) and now I was doing a jigsaw. I bet Brad Pitt is the same.


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