The cab driver driving me back from the Andrew Collings Show laughed and said something about a cardboard box. I didn't understand what he was referring to, but he kept talking. I looked behind me - "No, there," he said, "He must have the swankiest pad of all the tramps in London". I looked ahead and saw what he was referring to. A tramp had set up home on the porch of one of the posh buildings that surround Broadcasting House. There were steps up to the porch and a metal gate (supposedly) preventing entry and then on the bit of tiling between the gate and the door was the tramp's cardboard box and blanket. It was certainly an impressive post-code, but then that's true for many homeless people who tend to congregate in central London where most homeowners can't afford to buy. But even though it was a nice location and perhaps afforded a little more protection than being literally on the street (the porch was covered by a roof), I am not sure it qualified as being too swanky. It must surely only be a temporary weekend location as the makeshift dwelling completely blocked access to the building. I imagine that it was home to a business or maybe a businessman who went somewhere else at the weekend. I found it less funny than the driver and a little bit sad.
The homeless man was walking off up the road. "He'll have to be careful, he'll get squatters!" quipped the driver, though again I wasn't as convinced that this little residence was quite as desirable as he thought it was.
"You make your own luck," the driver told me, clearly commenting that he blamed homeless people for being homeless. "I have been married twice and engaged twice - classic scenario for hitting the bottle. But life goes on."
Whilst doubtless some tramps are romantic figures who were jilted in love and decided to go and live on the streets because they knew they would never be in love again, surely this can only account for a maximum of 75% of them. I felt the driver was simplifying matters. I don't think having had four failed relationships (if it was four, maybe he was engaged and married to the same two women and was trying to make himself sound more impressive than he was) would actually send many people to a life away from society or even on the road to alcoholism. I think these problems run deeper than this. But there was something in the sad demeanour of the driver that made me think his smugness and laughter were actually covering something up in his life. Perhaps he was close to despair and it made him feel good to see someone worse off than him. Perhaps he was close to losing a grip on things so seeeing someone who had totally let go made him feel more in control. Maybe he had a shitty flat and that little bit of porch was at least a bit more shitty. Or maybe his flat was worse than the porch and all his comments about squatting were actual him dreaming of something better for himself.
At the very least I think he should get a grasp of the more fundamental issues of a subject before attempting to discuss it with a passenger. He was being too simplistic. Can't cab drivers be sent away to a special college or something to learn some actual knowledge (not just the Knowledge) so they don't embarrass themselves in this way. He thought I liked him, but I was disdainful of his opinions and if he'd asked me out for a drink at the end of the journey I would have declined.
But then maybe I am mocking the cab driver because I feel a bit sad and lonely and know that my opinions are not that solidly grounded in fact, so it's nice for me to laugh at someone who is sadder and lonelier and who has even less idea than me.
Is this just how the whole world works? And does it go all the way round past infinity so the tramp is actually the cleverest and most sorted out man in society?
No, it doesn't. Obviously. But that's what I'd say if I was a cab driver.
