Mawky McMawk was having her show filmed today and overran by ten minutes. Not content with this disruption she then chatted with her audience and was filming extra footage with the camerawoman (I hope this is coming out on DVD so you can all get to see the Duchess of Mawk in action. The show is called "One of our ain" - even the colloquial use of Scottish vernacular makes my skin crawl). Her props and furniture were still on stage five minutes before my show was going up. She did apologise for once, but the apology fell a little short as she was making no real effort to make up for her hi-jacking of my time by getting out of the venue. I was tired and quite angry and signally refused to help take her props off stage when she asked for help.
However, I was conscious that at this rate I was going to be starting ten minutes late, which might seriously affect the schedules of my audience members. The news came through that I had sold almost 160 tickets. It was going to take a while to get that many people in.
The problem was compounded by the fact that only the two young women who tech my show were on hand to facilitate the change-over. Usually a few burly men turn up to help dismantle the stage and place the extra chairs that are added to the venue for stand up. Sensing that my start time might be moving ever further into the future I mucked in to help, because I am not a big starry twat who is afraid to get my hands dirty. But I was annoyed about the inconvenience as I really like to try and get into the zone in the few minutes before I perform and lugging around chairs and dismantling stages isn't necessarily the greatest form of preparation.
I have helped put out the chairs before when the Mawkster has over-run and we need to be quick, but have never dealt with the stage. My operator, Lou, a slight looking young woman was trying to lift the stage right section of the stage up and not doing a bad job of it, but I offered to lend her some of my manly strength. I couldn't believe how heavy it was and had new found respect for Lou (who I already respect a good deal - she's been doing a great job for me). We managed to get it upright and shifted behind the curtain. But then we had to do the same for the stage left section. I was worried that I would be too exhausted to do the show. I also slightly strained my weak arm doing the lifting (so much for the increasingly rare visits to the gym).
A bit too late some other techies arrived and the chairs were approximately put in place. I was quite annoyed by all this and went out back to try and centre myself. I was kind of expecting the show to be ruined by all this, but in a weird way I think the frustration and the exertion really helped and after a slightly shaky start I put in one of the best performances of the run, and got all playful and inventive and made myself laugh at some of the ridiculous things I came out with. Sure enough a couple of people had to leave at what would have been the hour point, having to get to other shows, but pretty much everyone else seemed to enjoy it. Apart from a rather dour faced woman in the front row, though this time I played this much more effectively than at New Cross, by only obliquely referring to it. At the end when I ask people if they think my dad is proud of me for making a living talking about monkey semen, I addressed the question to the couple. The woman said "No" she didn't think my dad would be proud of me. I then said, "In fact this has made you slightly more proud of your own son, seeing me and what a mess I have made of things, doesn't it?"
"Yes," said the woman, quite earnestly. It really made me laugh and I at least felt I had achieved something. That woman was going to go home realising that whatever she thought of her child before, whatever she had disapproved of, at least he wasn't a stand up comedian who wanted to marry Maxine Carr and stab women in the stomach. If that is the only thing that I achieve this festival I will be pleased.
Later on I saw the brilliant Beergut 100 do their last gig at the Gilded Balloon. Kevin Eldon was on sparkling form as front man and the band (including Bill Bailey and Christian Riley as well as a number of guest singers) were incredible. It was such terrific fun and what the Fringe is all about. Essentially mates dicking around, but wonderfully talented mates who are fantastic at what they do. It all made me very happy.
