7861/20802
You have to vote Tory to stop Labour getting an elective dictatorship, but we have to be careful, if we all do that then the Tories will end up with an elective dictatorship. So we should probably all vote Lib Dem.... oh no, wait.
It's going to be an interesting election one way or another and it will be interesting to see if Farage can finally get elected (or win the election!). He's another one-balled man showing that a lack of testicles doesn't mean we can't compete in a world where half the people have more balls than us (though half the people have fewer). I don't necessarily agree with his politics (though am looking forward to seeing if he can make the trains run on time) but the testicular bond between us means I have to tip my hat to him and hat my tip to him too.
In spite of his electoral failures he is the most successful politician of his generation, having almost single-handedly (with a little help from a BJ) changed the UK beyond recognition. He acknowledges what a mess the country is in and you have to agree as the man who made the mess, he's the best one to clear it up. Good luck Nigel.
Many years ago - pre-Brexit - I had a meeting with Channel 4 to pitch ideas for a sitcom. I had a couple of ideas, but nothing really leaping out for me. As I sat in reception waiting to go up I started thinking about what would happen in an upcoming election if the three main parties all imploded, with scandals, deaths and fuck ups and a UKIP style party with a Farage style leader accidentally became PM.
Five minutes after having the idea I pitched it to the head of comedy who (unusually) immediately commissioned a script. This surely has to be close to the world record for going from having an idea to someone agreeing to pay you for it. (I can imagine that there have been instances where an idea has come up in a meeting and being immediately commissioned, but it can't have happened often, if at all).
At that time the idea of UKIP forming a government was ridiculous enough to be comical, but not entirely impossible. Unless something extraordinary happens (again not impossible if very specific things happened) Reform can not win this time, but it's very easy to see a scenario where they (or Farage at least) win next time.
There was a lot in favour of the idea - or at least much to explore. It's easy to be a blustering force in politics when you know there's no chance of winning, so what would the reality be of plonking someone like Farage into power - him fucking up lots in a comedy, though the reality might be rather less funny. In a sense we've already witnessed what would happen if this kind of demagogue got into power and then took control of the entire political machinery and it wasn't very good and it certainly wasn't a laugh fest.
It became impossible to write this as a sitcom. I wanted it to show up the limitations of the Farage position, but I realised it would be tricky to do this without humanising the main character and having at least some sympathy for him. And though it sounded like a funnily impossible thing to happen in whenever it was (2012?), it was still just a little bit too dark and so it never happened and (I think) I wrote a West Country version of Deadwood (set in the modern day tourist industry- provisionally titled Chedwood) instead. This at least became a script, but did not get commissioned to series.
But in the next ten years we might get to find out what a Farage led country is like, though he has had more time to prepare himself and finesse his operation and get mainstream support, so it won't be as comic as a man getting a prize that he has no idea what to do with. And my guess is it won't be very funny either.
Anyway, we were off to Newcastle today for a sold out gig at the brilliant Stand. It's not a huge room but great to easily sell it out on a Monday. And it was a really fun gig where I came up with loads of ad libbed stuff that I may well forget by the next performance. Roadworks meant that we were stuck trying to get the venue for almost an hour and eventually only got there by going the wrong way up a one way street. Don't tell the pigs.
It's been a lovely run of gigs in places that I do well. The tour is going to be a bit more challenging over the next month as I am not only gigging on the vast majority of days, but playing a lot of smaller places where theatres might not be as full. But the show seems pretty bulletproof and my attitude to performing has changed, in line with the message of the show. I just want to enjoy it and so it's playful and exploratory and it's not like I don't care (I want it to be good) but it's not really important in the long run whether it's good or not. And subsequently because it's less of a stress, the show is really relaxed and thus (I think) probably better than any show I've done before.
Whatever the case, I am really enjoying doing stand up again. As fun as the podcasts are, they are not the same (but maybe I need to inject the devil-may-care no-fucks-given attitude back into them) and stand up does make me feel like a different person. It makes me feel alive. And it's good to be alive.
And it makes me appreciate my time with my family even more when I am away from them so much.
Thanks to everyone who has come so far. I think we've over halfway through the tour now - only a month to go.
By the time I finish Farage could be Prime Minister.
