Warming Up

7957/20898

This morning, as I made breakfast, I started singing a song. I have no idea what prompted me to do so. It went "Drink Lubbly Glublick, fill up your glass to the rim, drink lubbly Glublick, til it o'erflows the rim. All your troubles will stop, you'll find peace with each drop, when Glublick goes plink,plonk and plop."

I am not sure those are the exact words, but I realised I was singing a song from The Dracula Spectacula, which had been the Kings of Wessex School musical in 1981 or 1982. I probably hadn't even thought about that song for over 40 years, so what the fuck prompted it to pop into my brain, almost fully formed, this morning? Degenerative brain disease? Most probably.

I hadn't even actually been in the Dracula Spectacula. I think my friends and I thought we were too cool to be in something like this. But then, the terrible show offs that we were, we regretted not being a part of it and ended up joining the stage crew. I only remember wheeling on some kind of pretend stage coach, but being thrilled to be in front of the audience.

Maybe we joined in that crowd scene and sang the song. I don't know. It's such a weird thing to remember. I couldn't tell you much about the production, except that Dracula was played by our fantastically funny teacher Les Skidmore, who is sadly no longer with us, but had a fine singing voice and a great sense of humour and had something of Russ Abbott about him. He was also in our school brass band (which I was very reluctantly and incompetently a part of) and an excellent musician. We had many great teachers at school, but it's hard to think of one who threw himself so enthusiastically into the job and he is very sadly missed.

I regretted not being in Dracula Spectacular so auditioned for the next school musical, a Star Trek parody called Dazzle. My friends were even more snobby about comedy and theatre now and refused to take part, but I got the lead part, Sam Galactic. Whoever came up with these shows had a nice little business going. They were aimed at school and amateur theatre groups and they'd not only sell you the books, but you could also rent the costumes. I've written about it before, but I don't think Dazzle would fly in the modern era (though last time I wrote about it I noted there had been a production in 2006). The starship was manned by a range of racial stereotypes including Suey instead of Sulu (who sings a song called "Velly velly tastee too) and Bones became a black or maybe Indian character who'd sing "Dem Bones, dem Bones" naturally played by a white schoolchild blacked up. That character is actually in the photo on the front of the Cheddar Valley Gazette, but you can't really see him, so dark is the make-up. I won't name the people who played these characters or they would be CANCELLED (you can work out who is who from the newspaper article if you are so inclined). I should be cancelled for agreeing to share a stage with them.

There was even a stupid Irish character called Paddy. Anyone who is nostalgic for the 1980s is a fucking idiot.

In a previous blog I suggested reassembling the cast to do the show again now. I think it's the punishment we all deserve.

My friends were dismissive of my performance (but I also think a little jealous). All they said was that they couldn't believe I had whitened my teeth for the performance. I had not done so. I guess they shone in the spotlight.

I did quite a bit of drama at school and University, but this was, I think, my first big role.

Anyway, I will sing what I remember of my solos for the paid subscribers in the video. This shit has stuck. All the things I've forgotten (and all the stuff from school that would have been useful, like all the stuff I used to know about maths) and yet I remember a crap drinking song from a show I wasn't even in.

The family were out at a birthday party this afternoon, allowing me to do a bonus stone clearing podcast, where it struck me that it's actually quite impressive that Ozymandius' feet survived so long. Most of us don't get that. Stone clearing is my Ozymandius' feet.

Really trying to get this thing finished by next Friday.