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Also even if you put chimps in a room with a typewriter, the probably wouldn't attempt to use it. And if they did it would be hard to force them to do nothing else but type for more than a few seconds. There's all kinds of reasons why chimps won't ever do this. I reckon if someone captured all the chimps and tried to force them to do this, until the end of the Universe, pausing only to eat and presumably have sex too to keep the chimp line going, that there would probably be some protests. Also zoos and tea commercials and Tarzan would need some of the chimps and probably not want them typing in their cage, advert or action film, so it's be even less likely.
Also who is changing the ribbons? Has someone trained a chimp to do that and have they taken into account that that ribbon chimp will not be able to type as he'll be too busy with the ribbons? And who is loading up the new paper? Because I don't think you can teach the chimps to do that and they're not typing all of Shakespeare out on one sheet.
Why not use a word processor?
And if we're talking about now til the end of time, is there not a chance that the chimps will evolve into a lifeform intelligent enough to just copy out Shakespeare from a book? Ability to type would be favoured in this scenario so there's every chance that this would occur.
Of course, it's a meaningless bit of maths because the statement about the monkeys and typewriters (it's sometimes one infinite monkey and sometimes infinite monkeys and sometimes infinite typewriters as well) is not about whether a chimp could do this, it's about the nature of infinity. With infinite amount of time and a scenario where the infinite chimps are made to sit at their typewriter then the works of Shakespeare and every possible combination of letters would emerge (infinite times)
I don't claim to be understand infinity or to really be able to process these facts. To me it doesn't follow that if the Universe is infinite (or if there are infinite Universes) that everything that can happen will happen. Because if that's the case then there are infinite worlds out there where chimpanzees have accidentally typed the complete works of Shakespeare and if that is the case then any mathematicians in those world are going to say, "Hold on, this really isn't possible. Somethings going on."
To prove that an infinite number of universes means that every conceivable thing does not happen, you just have to find one possible thing that won't happen and that blows the whole idea out of the water. There are loads of things that could possibly happen, but never will. I could win the lottery fifty-two weeks in a row - it's possible, but very unlikely. But other factors would come into play. Would any version of me really keep on playing after the third (or first) time? Would the Lottery commission just keep paying out, even though all logic would tell them I must be cheating? Would anyone else bother to play the lottery given that suddenly it seemed only one person could win it? Wouldn't that stop me playing the lottery as well, because the prize pot would be my £1.50 minus fees and I'd start running at a loss?
Is there a Universe exactly like ours where every single thing has happened in exactly the same way for 13 billion years and all the same people, animals, plants, microbes and leaves, rocks, space junk, molecules etc are in exactly the same place, but my name is Rachard Keith Herring? There can't be, because the minute I got called Rachard everything would change and I'd have had to spend a lot of my life spelling out Rachard and correcting people and there would have been way more people saying "Wait, Rachard?" and that in turn would have knock on effects.
Is there a Universe just like ours except everyone has much longer names? Everyone has a name that takes 30 years to say. And when anyone is addressed the full name needs to be said? It's possible, but it would never happen. Maybe there is some mathematical limit to the number of letters a name can have, but they there must be a Universe where that is always pushed one letter further. If everything is possible.
If the Universe is infinite and everything happens somewhere then there's a Universe where I am interrupted writing this blog to be told I have been called up to play for England football team, despite being 57 and not having played football for 40 years and having been shit at it when I did play. There's infinite Universes where that is happening. At every moment of writing this blog. And there is an infinite number of Universes where all England fans take the news as positive and welcome the decision. Except for one man. Who is called Rachard.
That has not happened anywhere, which means that even if the Universe is infinite and an infinite amount of stuff is happening, not everything is happening.
I reckon there's a chance that if the Universe is infinite there could still be no other versions of you anywhere, or maybe no one else identifiable as human. And even if there are infinite yous, then are they still YOU with your mind and personality. Because just because someone is your genetical twin it does not mean they are you. Ask any twin.
Also the Universe clearly isn't fucking infinite anyway. Where would all the stuff come from? You're the only you. This is the only time this is happening. Even if we're in a computer programme you could run it infinity times and there's no guarantee that you crop up again or that if you do you aren't christened Arsewipe by your otherwise wise and respectable parents.
You don't understand infinity, Rachard!
Yes I do. I understand it better than anyone. Science is wrong. We've all had enough of experts.
Also there's a Universe where this blog doesn't contradict itself by saying that the study that started it doesn't understand infinity, before going on to not understand infinity.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that this story reminded me of one of my favourite Lee and Herring jokes. I can usually remember who wrote everything we did, but not sure on this one, though if I had to guess I'd say it was Stewart (though I may have had input)
It's a brilliant joke, but will only be understood properly by a tiny amount of people. Also I can't fully remember the exact wording.
If an infinite number of monkeys typed on an infinite number of typewriters someone would eventually come in and mistake it for the Weekending writers’ room (except more sexually attractive with less stinking bodily hair).
If you'd been in the Weekending writers' room in the early 90s and seen the number of people around you and their general personal hygiene you'd find this as funny as I do. And if the Universe is infinite I wrote it somewhere, infinite times. As did Joan of Arc, in English, just by typing randomly on a typewriter, which had been invented very early in that Universe, but nothing else was different, which seems impossible, but is not due to infinity.
