When I wrote a 12 page scene with all the 12 characters in the drama sat at the dinner table I thought it would be easy to film. I am an idiot with no idea about anything. Despite the static nature of the action, with so many people in such a small space it's actually a very tedious day's shooting. Plus twelve people have to keep aware of what they are eating and drinking and when, and then have to eat and drink those things over and over again all day long. We were hoping to get everything done in just one day, which was a little ambitious, but we're on a tight schedule and couldn't afford too many hold ups. And though it was a relatively easy day for me (I had maybe three lines) and many of the other actors, Anton and Julia had several long speeches and complicated and repetitive dialogue and they've both been dreading it all week.
As it turned out as the day began it was Gordon Kennedy, with a mere two lines in the scene, who seemed to have the most difficulty. He managed to forget to come in for the first couple of takes, despite being nudged by his own screen daughter Eleanor. I wondered if he'd had a late night, but in fact he'd had a good sleep. it had been the night before that he'd been at a big party for his other show "Robin Hood".
Whenever a long pause arrived we would all look at Gordon. I'd throw bits of rice at him, Eleanor would nudge him and Claire Skinner even went as far as growling "Say it!" at him. This became a bit of a catchphrase for the day.
The best moment came on a later take, where there was a bit of a hiatus and Gordon suddenly sprang to life and came in with his line, "So Margaret, what's for pudding?" (brilliant writing I think you'll agree) Assuming that he had made a mistake again. But in fact it was Rebecca Front's line next and as it was a tense moment in the script she had been building up to it. The normally placid and charming actress turned to the bumbling Scotchman and hissed, "Fuck off, it's my turn, you arse. I was acting!" It was a very funny moment.
But then on a day like this little things suddenly become hysterical, in the strange atmosphere of tension and tedium.
Another one of these came at a line where Anton very touchingly tells his wife he loves her. To aid the action he had then added the line "Clear the table kids" before saying, "I've got a surprise for you."
Some of the filthier minded actors in the company (I am probably not at the top of this league table, which is astonishing) started giggling at this. They had taken Anton's instruction to clear the table to be the preamble to the surprise which was a bout of "The Postman Always Rings Twice" style dinner table love making between the granparents in front of their whole family. They began suggesting lewd acts that the respected actors might start performing (too rude to mention in this family weblog) and how other members of the family might join in.
Alas this made it very difficult to do any future take of this bit without thinking of this unexpected pornographic twist and burst into unwarranted laughter.
I have always liked the notion of writing a great script in one genre and then totally ruining it right near the end with an inappropriate or hackneyed diversion. Such as one of the characters peeling off their face and saying "I'm an alien" or someone earnestly getting up and declaiming "I've got AIDS!" and the show ends, or perhaps suddenly it's revealed that a minor character is a lesbian vampire. Suddenly introducing old people having sex in front of everyone, with perhaps one of the characters explaining to the newcomer that this incestuous orgy is a regular feature of the family life in this home, would be a great way to ruin this script. I hope one day to do this in a major motion picture.
We got through the scene after a marathon day and some fine and exhausting work by Anton and Julia. Just one more day at this location and Julia's last scenes tomorrow. This week has whizzed by and it will be sad to break up into our family units to do the last third of the script. A few of us stayed over at a hotel tonight and I wished we'd done it before because it was lovely to have a drink and a sandwich with these people who have become my friends and weirdly also my family (in a couple of senses) in the last three weeks.
Everyone seems keen to find out what would happen to their characters if we get a series, which is a positive sign. Hopefully the bigwigs at ITV will be as curious to discover what happens next. It would be marvellous to work with these people again. Even if they are filthy and wrong.
