I went to see
Equus at the Gielgud Theatre tonight. Like most of the audience I was not there to see Peter Shaffer's exploration of the pysche of a horse mutiliating teenager, I was there to see Harry Potter's cock. That's right, in case you haven't heard, Harry Potter has given up being a wizard and that to try his hand (and his cock) at acting and he does a full frontal nude scene. What kind of a person would be prepared to take all their clothes off on stage? Only a right weirdo.
(for your information, when I took my clothes off in the play "Excavating Rita" it was not only essential to the plot, but I also had the modesty to keep my socks on).
But I have to say there was a lot of waiting around before the Potter cock was revealed and so I had to try and entertain myself by watching the play. This was somewhat helped by the appearance of
Jenny Agutter, who was fabulous as you would expect from any time-travel wife of mine. The design and lighting was great too, although the play itself has perhaps dated a little and is possibly trite in its questioning of who is the real madman in this so called society (it's the bloke who stabs horses in the eyes).
But none of that mattered. We wanted to see the cock of someone who had first come to our attention when he was a schoolboy, but who is now over 16 so that doesn't make us padophiles. Nor gay. Just curious as to what the cock of a wizard would look like.
The director of the play cleverly tried to distract me from my goal by simultaneously having a very attractive woman take all her clothes off. But I didn't want to look at a naked woman and would not fall for his trick. I had paid £50 for my seat and didn't want to waste that money by not having seen any famous penises at all.
The lighting designer should be sacked though as it was so dark that you could hardly see anything. It was most disappointing.
If I was magic like Harry Potter then I would have used one of those Illuminato spells to show myself off in the best light and then also a KingDongiato spell to give me a shlong that brushed the floor as I was walking (not literally, though if I put bristles on it, then I might not need to emply a cleaner). But then maybe it was just a bit cold up there.
Anyway, this isn't the internet forum to discuss the penises of teenage boys. I am sure you might be able to find one out there somewhere if you search hard enough.
