Had I thought ahead a little and realised that my tour would be quite gruelling, I might not have accepted a regular circuit gig in Winchester on one of my precious days off. But
the Railway Inn is a lovely club and it was their first birthday party, so I couldn't really refuse and as it turned out it made a refreshing change to be part of a bill and get to meet some other people and have a drink and a laugh. So I was very glad I did it.
I arrived in Winchester early and managed to get a bit more done on my script. Hopefully tomorrow I can finally finish it (or finallly finish the first draft at least).
I had a friend coming to the gig, so I met up with them beforehand for a drink, a go on the quiz machines and some food. After failing to win any money with our general knowledge skill, we popped over to Pizza Express (where with great restraint I managed to order a salad, even though
I love pizza). Behind me was a man sitting on his own. I thought I vaguely recognised him. "Is that the bloke off Eggheads?" I asked my companion, but they weren't sure. I didn't want to be rude and look round, but I noticed that he was reading a book of film facts, which added to my suspicions.
I have seen one of the Eggheads before,
swanning around a service station and urinating as if he had something to be proud of. But he was the rubbish one from Eggheads and had no justificating for his strutting. The one in Pizza Express was
the good one from Eggheads and yet he didn't strut or preen. He just ate his pizza and read his facts, preparing for his next epic battle. Which perhaps explains why he always gets his questions right, whilst the rubbish one from Eggheads gets loads wrong, cos he isn't putting in the work.
Anyway, they must be paying the Eggheads well as there is a Pizza Hut just up the road and yet the good one from Eggheads still selected to go to Pizza Express - the Nandos of Pizza.
Yet for all his TV fame and expendible income the good one from Eggheads was eating alone (unlike the rubbish one, who was drinking coffee with a flamboyant looking man). For once on this tour I had some company as I ate, so I didn't judge the Egghead man too much, in fact empathising with him, alone on a Bank Holiday Sunday with just his facts for company. As I know devotion to work has its repercussions.
My friend wanted me to ask him if he was the bloke from Eggheads and also to air my grievances about the programmes multiple choice structure, which means it is as much a test of educated guessing as skill, but I figured he wanted to be alone with his facts. Maybe if I had been there on my own I might have asked to join him, to discuss what it is like being a solitary minor TV personality. But I had a friend today and so could pretend I was popular and didn't want any of his lonely funk to rub off on me. Human beings are cruel in this regard. And I am a human being. Whatever others may tell you.
Funnily enough one of the guys who runs the comedy club had been on Eggheads and on the final round had faced all 5 Eggheads alone, his team-mates having lost the preceeding rounds.
"Are you nervous about having to face all five Eggheads?" asked Dermot.
"Only four of them," said the flustered contestant, "Not CJ - he's a cunt!"
Apparently this didn't make the final edit, despite the clarity of thought and truth behind the statement.
