Bookmark and Share

Use this form to email this edition of Warming Up to your friends...
Your Email Address:
Your Friend's Email Address:
Press or to start over.

Monday 24th September 2007

Ah let's give the old girl one more run. It's hard to let it go. We've been through a lot. And I've been with this laptop longer than I have been with any woman, though I have to admit in that time I have used other computers. And I stayed with this one even though it has let me down.
I actually went to the Apple store this evening and came very, very close to making a purchase. But I decided to sleep on it. Even though those Macbook Pros are pretty gorgeous. And the iPhone looks like it's going to be pretty shitting hot as well. In fact I had been planning to buy a new iPod today as well, but looking at the iPhones I might just get one of those instead. But I partly left because I was in danger of spending a whole lot of money and I wanted to think about what choices I was going for. But I am pretty much decided to go back first thing tomorrow and buy the computer at least. Would be nice to know that I had some definite work coming up before making the decision, though no decisions from the bigwigs yet.
At least a computer is a business necessity. I think I can justify buying that, but as for everything else... well we'll see.
I was feeling good today though. The health kick (which has gone well aside from drinking too much wine on Saturday) is really paying off. And a good work out at the gym today filled me with energy. The TV screens at evil Richard Branston's gym were warning of thieves in the changing rooms. But the screen was headlined "Five Finger Workout", which I think (possibly deliberately) suggested something else. Stealing is erroneously called the "five finger discount" (it should be four finger and one thumb - and also some thieves use both hands), but to put workout on the end of that phrase instead of discount creates a totally different scenario. And for a fleeting second I wondered if there was some new specialist weight loss class. For once it was a sporting activity that I would have the chance to be the best at. If only it did really help you get fit as I argued back in the Fist of Fun days, where I totted up how much seminal fluid one might lose if they masturbated continuously for a month and when I claimed it might be a couple of stone, Stew responded saying that that mathematics presupposed that all my excess weight was stored in my testicles in the form of spermatazoons and I commented that it certainly felt like it.
Happy days!
I thought about walking home from Oxford Circus to think about my computer purchase and made it all the way up to Queensway before lack of food and too much exercise made me decide it was best to get home and have a stir fry. On the way I stopped off at Pret a Manger for a yoghurt (I don't like yoghurt that much. I just fancied one) and watched people crossing the road in front of me. Within about twenty minutes about ten people had essentially walked in front of traffic. Luckily all of them got across safely, though their varying reactions amused me. Some were frightened to have got so close to death, others just strolled on nonchalantly as if nothing had happened. I wondered how many people are knocked over there every year. It was more ridiculous as without exception every near miss was with the traffic moving into the road around Marble Arch. I timed how long the lights were on green for the traffic and it was ten seconds. People were putting their lives at risk for the sake of a wait of a sixth of a minute. I know we are all very busy, but that's ridiculous.

Bookmark and Share



Subscribe to my Substack here
See RHLSTP on tour Guests and ticket links here
Help us make more podcasts by becoming a badger You get loads of extras if you do.
To join Richard's Substack (and get a lot of emails) visit:

richardherring.substack.com