Days Without Alcohol - 65.
Collings and Herrin now at 17th in the iPod comedy charts and a remarkable 32nd in the overall charts - just in behind the Archers. Can we take them? Can our rustly amateur podcast defeat yet more of these professional national broadcaster offerings? Yes, of course we can. I shall not rest until we are number one.
I might get a bit tired.
Gradually my health is improving. I had some energy on stage tonight, which might have been assisted by a terrific response from the sold out Wolverhampton crowd (another small room, but still double the numbers I got last time I was in this unusual town). I had a lot of fun, though I had to get on to the stage via a couple of upturned milk crates(oh the glamour), which collapsed as I climbed on to them at the start of the second half, sending me stumbling to the ground, to much hilarity. I am a master of all the comedic forms.
Also I have realised that I am in love, not with fantasy characters like Jenny Agutter or the lifeguard at my swimming pool, but with someone I actually have a chance with - the woman in the photos at
Caffe Ritazza. She is up all over the coffee shops in the Moto service stations, though they don't seem to put her photo on the website, so I can't share her beauty with you. She is shown laughing, smiling and looking thoughtful, while drinking coffee. That is all I want from a woman - the ability to laugh, smile and look thoughtful. Those are the three main things that are required in a partner. It makes me happy to see her gigantic face looming over me as I drink my own coffee and to know that on day she will definitely be mine and we will drink Caffe Ritazza coffee together - I imagine she probably gets a discount at the service station, which she could probably pass on to me, which would be good as the coffees are a little pricey.
I keep hanging around at the caffe in the hope that she will turn up, but I haven't yet seen her in real life. Perhaps she feels self conscious about having her laughing/smiling/thoughtful face all over the place and is forced to go and drink coffee at the Welcome Break, which must be awful for her, because Moto is the best - most of them have M&S as well - all they really need now is a Pizza Express and I might never leave the place.
But if you know the woman from the Caffe Ritazza photos then do ask her to get in touch. I am sure we are meant to be together and you can give destiny a little helping hand if you can pass on the message. And don't tell her that I am looking forward to the coffee discounts - she probably gets that from all the men and is suspicious of people's motives. But I genuinely love her and the coffee is just a cherry on the cake for me.
