Days Without Alcohol - 74.
I dragged my suit case down the stairs at the hotel in Darlington this morning. I was loaded down with props and my charity bucket and my computer bag and my bag of DVDS and so couldn't be bothered to lift the suitcase properly. It banged against each step, but it was after 10am so I guessed I wasn't going to wake anyone up.
There was a lift that would take me down to the lobby on the next level down and as I got to it I heard some familiar music. It took me a while to work out what it was. It was the theme tune to Simon Schama's History of Britain. "What an odd choice of music to have piped into a hotel lift," I thought.
Downstairs I paid for the room and then sat in the lobby browsing the internet. Apparently the hotel only had one CD. The Simon Schama theme was still playing.
After about twenty minutes I got ready to leave and popped to the loo, which was quite a difficult enterprise given the amount of stuff I had. I couldn't believe it but the Simon Schama music was playing in the toilets too. I couldn't believe it, but didn't think about it too much as the DVD bag handle had just broken and I was going to have to carry it in my arms.
I stopped outside the toilet once I had managed to squeeze out and decided to put my DVD bag inside my suitcase. It was only then that I realised that the Simon Schama music was coming from inside my luggage, not from the hotel at all. I was momentarily confused, until I realised that I had my portable DVD player in my suitcase and it must have switched itself on as I bumped it down the stairs. I hadn't used the DVD for a while and had inadvertently left the last DVD I had played in the machine and it was, of course, Simon Schama's History of Britain. I had tried to watch it a few months ago, but kept falling asleep. So the hotel didn't have an unusual musical choice at all. It had been me all along. My life is like a sitcom. Admittedly a really rubbish sitcom that would never get commissioned. But in a sense that is quite apt.
Luckily today's long drive was hassle free and I arrived in Aldershit with time to spare. I did, however, fall asleep in the dressing room with my head on the table in front of the mirror. My walk in music woke me up. My face was marked where I had been leaning on my jumper. I don't think it was noticeable on stage.
My life is like a sitcom.
A really, really bad one.
