I think my hair might be getting a bit long. I haven't had it cut since last October and I was heading out for dinner with a friend I caught my reflection in a shop window and was surprised by how far down my back my greying locks descend. Forty years old and locks like some kind of hippy punk rocker. That at least is what my dad or Sandi Thom might think. It is further evidence of the weirdness of my chosen profession that I can look like one of the male pupils in "Please Sir" (in that I both have long hair and look about 40). Imagine my forty year old headmaster dad coming to school with such lustrous tresses. He would have been sacked on the spot. But I can go to work, shout about cocks for 40 minutes, verbally harrass women and drunks and have my barnet in any stupid style I want and no one bats a eyelid. What an odd life I have.
My concerns about the ridiculousness of my Samsonian locks was confirmed when I got to the restaurant, sitting with my back to the room. Our waiter arrived to introduce himself and said, "Hello ladies!" only to get in front of me and see my whiskered face and (extremely) manly features and then crumple in embarrassment and apologies.
"It happens," I told him, though it hasn't actually happened for a little while.
"That's a great start to the evening," he moaned, sensing his tip disappearing down the plughole. But we all laughed it off. I am all man. Even if my hair might better belong on a woman. And I suppose I could cut it off and sell it for a wig and it might actually do that.
But I fear all my comedic strength lies in my hair, so am fearful of even getting a trim. I must use my hirsute powers for good - I am no Hair Hitler - and maybe if I do not visit the barbers for another few years then I might get in the Guinness Book of Records as the most effeminate comedian in history. It is all I can hope for.
And I spent the afternoon recording podcast 14 of Collings and Herring stupidity. You can hear what we got up to
here - again no job for a grown man. If you haven't subscribed on iTunes yet then please do so. We've managed to get back to around about 15 in the comedy charts and it'd be great to do better, as the only handmade podcast in the charts. We really are punk rockers. Spread the word about the podcast. Some people still harp on about us editing it or improving the sound quality, but they're missing the point. The whole thing is ad libbed and free form and to cherry pick it or improve it artificially would ruin it. I think it's quite remarkable that we are managing to be as amusing as we are without a script, but what makes it exciting is that everything we say, however rubbish or self-defeating - goes in. If we knew we could edit it out I think we'd lose the frisson. And, you know, it's free and you can always skip over the boring bits if you're in a real hurry.
We also got more photos back from
the amazing Steve Brown with graphics by
Steve Newman. There's still some way to go with the pics, but they look pretty cool, huh? Try to work out which one we took and which ones he took!
