We did
the Podcast early this week, because I am going to be away for the next few days gigging in Newbury, Wedmore (sold out) and Brighton (6.30pm start on that one apparently, leaving you plenty of time to enjoy the evening!). Also we are slated to appear in the Independent on Sunday's "How We Met" feature and had to have our photo taken for that. Andrew was ridiculously and childishly excited about that, wittering on nervously as statuesque photographer
Elsa Quarsell tried to do her job. "Stop talking, this nice lady is trying to take your picture," I told the infantile Collings, but he couldn't help himself from informing her of all kinds of titbits that she wouldn't be interested in, like how I usually wore a T-shirt, not a shirt. He told Elsa that we usually take a photo with the camera in our laptop and that we could save her some time and do that instead. He then did so, as she continued to attempt to corral us into a position where she might get a good shot. You can see his photo
at the bottom of his blog entry on this subject, in which he also claims that I have never been in my "garden" - more of a little patio before you start thinking I am some kind of billionaire. Well if he was my friend, rather than my colleague, then maybe he would have been to one of the parties I've had in my house and would have been out there already. But he isn't my friend. I had to lie to the IoS and pretend that he was. It made me feel queasy.
Admittedly I don't go out there very much, as was evidenced by the semi-rotted skellington of a bird that was lying on the paving stones, sans head, as Andrew, the nervously twitching twitcher informed us, that's the best bit from a cat's point of view. Or from a bird rapist and aviafauna serial killer's one. Which is why I think he knows so much about it.
I didn't scoop the remains up though. I will let it rot into the stone.
But Andrew's excitement was understandable. It has been his one and only lifetime's ambition to be featured in the "How We Met" section of the Ios. Finally he has probably made it (he seems to think there is a chance that they won't use it, but I can't see that they would go to this effort if they didn't intend to). I have been in it before, with the Opera Director Stewart Lee, so I was jaded to the whole experience.
Collings' jittery madness continued once the photographer had left. I had been told that if people unsubscribe from iTunes and then resubscribe that that might improve our slightly faltering progress up the charts, as they are based on new users (I don't know if this is true). I came up to the attic to find Collings unsubscribing and then subscribing over and over again. It didn't make any difference to our standing. But it was good to see a 42 year old man behaving like such an idiot.
I did it a few times as well, just as an experiment. It didn't make any odds.
You can try it if you like though. Though personally I think it would be more honourable to know that our chart position was based on actual figures. But maybe Stephen Fry and Russell Brand spend their whole day subscribing and unsubscribing and that's why they're doing so well.
The podcast itself had some good moments, though the bits I heard afterwards sounded a bit shouty and we were talking over each other. Perhaps we were both a bit over excited by our brush with slight fame. The over excitement led to some good bits and some less good bits, but then that is the nature of the beast. Maybe we should have just done the podcast of the photo shoot.
Oh by the way, you can see a little clip of my recent drunken gig at the Frog and Bucket
here. See how in dealing with a heckler I utilise jokes from TMWRNJ (Judas sketch) and Lionel Nimrod's Inexplicable World (Cassius). Sometimes it is good to have such a huge catalogue of material. I have jokes on nearly every subject now, though can probably only access them if I am pissed.
To see the story of why I am holding that sign and what it means, check out
this old entry.
