I have been writing the intro to my book. I have been compiling a list of the answers to the question "If your penis were to get dressed, what would it wear?"
This was a question I have adapted (or stolen) from the Vagina Monologues, (although Eve Ensler asked it about vaginas, so really my question is entirely different)
In the book I am probably just going to list the answers and let them speak for themselves, but by chance I think the question is an excellent window into how men view themselves and how they identify themselves through their penises. I think the majority of men either say something like "jeans and a T-shirt" or "nothing", with a healthy minority saying something about the question being stupid.
But quite a few go for their team colours and lots have it dressed up in "fantasy" sexy clothes, like firemen outfits or soldier uniforms. Some even go for a mini-bondage style suit, which seems to be taking things too far.
It seems men dress their penis in a way that identifies how they perceive themselves and their sexuality. Some men identify themselves as humorous and think their penis would be too, and have it wearing a Monty Python T-shirt or a joke arrow through its head. Others feel bad about themselves and their penis's attire reflects this, such as a sad questionnaire from a man who thinks his penis would dress in the shabby clothes of a tramp. I liked the man who said his penis would dress up as Napoleon. A penis with a Napoleon complex. What a danger to the world that would be.
My favourite response, undoubtedly written for humour, but also saying so much about the man in question is "It would probably like to get done up in Huggy Bear pimp gear, but I wouldn't let it leave the house like that!"
The man's needs and the penis's needs maybe not always the same. Or at least the public face of the man and the secret needs of his penis don't always match up!
