I am more than happy to give out my email address (it's herring1967@googlemail.com). It's cool to get feedback from people about shows or the blog and more often than not these are constructive, informative and funny. Thanks to Robin Broad for example I now know that the Jewish founder of the Odeon cinema chain, Oscar Deutsch, sported a toothbrush moustache. It might prove useful information, it might not. Many of you are kind enough to write to me and let me know how much you enjoyed a show you've seen, which can often be very touching. A few people send mildly threatening or bizarre emails. Maybe they think they are being funny or maybe they really are mentally ill. It's easy enough to block them and ignore them as it is with the people who start to email too often. Most of you get the balance right and I genuinely like hearing from you.
I don't mind criticism either. Most of my comedy is about prompting debate and trying to make people consider why they feel like they do about a certain subject.
David Pashley, a reasonable man who clearly likes my work, took me to task yesterday for seeming to be an extreme humanist who illogically states that there definitely is no God.
He wrote, "Not only is this logically incorrect (
denying the antecedent - just because something that people who say god exists say is untrue does not prove that god doesn't exist), it's also wrong to invoke science. In science you have to prove something rigorously before you can say it's the case. If Darwin were here, he would caution against deriving all sorts of lazy inferences from his work. He proved evolution is true, and that the world came to be the way it is by a certain means, not that god doesn't exist (even though it might have seemed that way from his Christian frame of reference). The things that science can't prove, are not therefore untrue."
I love getting emails like that because someone has engaged with what I have written and has entered a dialogue. In this dialogue there is every chance that they might make me consider my own position, but it also makes them consider their own. It's good to be picked up on things, even though in this case I was mainly trying to wind people up.
As I replied to David "I am not a scientist, I am a comedian and thus able to express my frustrations in a non scientific way. I don't believe there is a god, but that doesn't mean there isn't one. But it's fun to say that there isn't, especially in the face of the small mindedness that so restricted great scientists like Darwin and Galileo. Sometimes I am trying to provoke people into thinking about why they think what they think - which I do as much with my own beliefs as anyone else's. As your email shows the tactic is working.
I am very open minded about pretty much everything.
And would love to be proven wrong about many of my less optimistic thoughts.
But I am trying to entertain
And also writing the blog in a short period of time. It's never going to be perfect."
David sent me back another charming and polite email. We had a conversation and both came out of it better. By writing to me he made me consider whether I was correct to be taking the path I am doing - of being an open minded person who sometimes fools around with closed mindedness, both to show its stupidity and to make people think and because we are all slightly closed minded about certain things so it's bound to happen.
Although the "it's just a joke" excuse could be used to get out of anything, I do generally think quite carefully about my more provocative material. But am also aware that there is a part of me that enjoys being forthright in my views on religion because I am mostly certain that I am correct. It's a complicated and interesting issue and an email from a stranger had made me think about it, in a constructive and helpful way.
The email I got directly before that was not quite so constructive though.
It came from a lady called Brenda who had been in the audience of my
slightly odd Derby gig.
Here it is (and please enjoy the way she cleverly wrong foots me by opening the missive with a compliment:
"You have a lovely smile; so do a lot of other people but you won't see it at your gigs because your'e unbelievably un-funny! We saw you in Derby on Friday and you were soooo awful we came out half way through (as did many others). You seem to try to shock and offend people to make up for the fact that you just ain't funny. I've seen plenty of stand-ups and some are brilliant and others not so, but you were annoyingly bad. They say the opposite of love is not hate but apathy, but I think thats bollocks as I really hate you! You spoilt my weekend away and I've asked for my money back (never had to do that before but yes you were that bad). Watch some of the comedians who are at the top and learn from them. (Maybe you got the desired effect from me with this email, as any emotion is better than none, so well done!), but please don't steal money from people who pay to be misled by your promotion lies.
P.S. Have the staff at the Scope school seen your 'act' - they would be disgusted!"
Now it's fine not to have liked my show and even fine to email me to tell me that (if you're so inclined - personally I don't think I'd ever do it). I have had one email from another walk out who did at least eloquently and reasonably argue why she (as a victim of abuse) felt it was inappropriate to joke about the subject. I sent her a reasonable reply back trying to explain why I do the material, but understanding her concern. That was at least a dialogue.
But to write to someone to tell them you hate them? Quite an odd thing to do I'd say. And certainly not as effective as a calm and reasonable explanation of what your problem really is.
I like to reply to complainants and find if you do so in a polite and reasonable way, most of them will send a contrite or at least reasonable reply back to you, mostly seemingly admitting that they were drunk or emotional when they wrote and had never imagined (or perhaps more accurately considered) that their bile would make it to a real person.
I was not entirely polite with Brenda, but then given the tone of her email I didn't think this was necessary.
This is what I wrote"
"Sorry you didn't enjoy it, but many other people did. In fact got a standing ovation at the Derby gig if you'd stayed to see the second half. If you stayed for the whole thing I think you'd have seen I wasn't such a bad person. Humour is subjective but I don't think I have been involved with a show that has been enjoyed by more people than this one. It's never pleasant to have made someone unhappy or to offend them, but clearly this wasn't the show for you and you won't make the same mistake again.
I don't know what bits of my promotion you thought were lies, but all reviews are genuine and this show has been nominated for awards and had many 5 star reviews. Good luck with getting your money back. But that's not really how entertainment works. I have seen many films and comedians I don't like, but a) I wouldn't waste my time writing to them and b) I wouldn't expect a refund.
The people from SCOPE have seen all my shows and in fact have asked me to open their school fete. They are also delighted with the £15,000 I have raised for them during this tour and the £50,000 I have collected in previous tours.
I only make a living if people want to see me. That is how my wages are paid. So I would starve if I was not entertaining some people. So you can be sure that if I am as unfunny as you believe then I would not be able to carry on. But so far been going 20 years and still going strong.
I am genuinely sorry you didn't enjoy the show, but think that you emailing me to tell me so in the manner you have is as offensive as anything I did in the show (and without the fact that I was saying things for humorous effect, which perhaps you took seriously). I certainly don't hate you for expressing your opinion, as is your right, but perhaps you should look to your own actions and opinions before criticising someone else. I am only doing my best to make people laugh. But you can't please all the people all the time.
At least I have a lovely smile.
Best of luck with your angry life
Richard Herring"
Maybe it was a mistake to reply. Maybe I revealed that she at least slightly got to me, which ironically enough is probably what she wanted. Clearly the show touched a nerve for some reason, though it's genuinely a shame when people leave after the provocative first half and don't stay to see the second in which a gentler side is revealed.
I don't know if Brenda was one of the two ladies in the front - though I am guessing she is not. Perhaps I am being prejudiced or judgemental but I can't imagine either of them describing something as "bollocks". It's true that a few people did leave in the interval at this show, but probably no more than ten or so.
Luckily I know that the vast majority of people are enjoying this show and most emails are very positive (though I am aware that most normal people who hadn't enjoyed something don't tend to write to the performer to tell them). I know that I am not everyone's cup of tea and it doesn't upset me to have a stranger tell me that they hate me, when I was only trying to make them laugh. It perturbs me a little that they would write to tell me about it.
Perhaps it's not a million miles away from me venting anger at my bank by writing a scurrilous entry about a man who has written to me to tell me that there will be no interest cut.... except that that really was a joke. And as much aimed at myself as at the bank.
I guess the internet makes trolls of us all at times and I am as guilty of being self-righteous as the next mentally ill person.
