Everything is going swimmingly. The show is now sold out until Saturday and the
good reviews keep coming in.
Chortle is always the one that matters most to me as it's a consistent Edinburgh presence and Steve Bennett has not only seen all my shows since Christ on a Bike, but has seen thousands of comedy shows and I think has a pretty good grasp of what's good and bad. I got five stars from him last year and was hopeful that he'd think this show was as good or better, so had been slightly annoyed when he turned up for the Monday show when my brain was melting and my body was sweltering. It wasn't a terrible show and all the reviews from that night are 4 stars, but it just lacked that extra bit of magic and I think his criticisms probably hold good for that one night. The serious bits probably didn't have enough lightness and humour to them and became a little bit preachy.
But there's so much luck with Edinburgh, good and bad, and it is of course churlish to complain about what is an excellent review.
It's good, I suppose to seek perfection, even though that isn't possible to achieve and I can take a lot of solace in the amazing reaction I am getting from the audiences (who always seem to appreciate my stuff more than the critics anyway). Tonight was another great show, with the added frisson that I had been told that Brian Logan, the Guardian journalist who had written that original article that has ended up getting my show so talked about, was in the crowd. I was glad that I had nailed it and got the balance between humour and seriousness pretty much bang on (something that didn't happen to quite the same extent on Monday). Alas afterwards I was informed that Logan hadn't even picked up his ticket. Perhaps this is the way he intends to avenge me for my complaints about his article, to keep getting comps for my show, not using them and thus cheating me out of the £9.50 I could have got if I had sold it to a punter. Over the next 300 years he could break me.
After a day of lethargy yesterday I was extremely busy today, though quite tired and a little hungover. Collings and me tried out a little experimental podcast via Twitter, which lasted 1 hr 6 mins and 35 seconds as usual and had its moments, but which was perhaps too confusing a format for our rambling conversations. I found it difficult to follow myself and it certainly annoyed a good deal of people who were following me (especially if they weren't also following Andrew) and whose Twitter feed was being filled by my nonsense. I lost over 150 followers, whilst ironically Collings gained 150. But it was just a one off and it's incredible to me that people can get quite so impatient with something that is just an experiment. I fully understand why it was annoying, but it's only happening once and even I (who am constantly on Twitter) don't think it's life and death. I will end this blog with a transcript of the twitcast, which will make a bit more sense without all the interjecting comments etc.
I think it was worth a go.
We won't be doing it again.
It is hard to converse in real time on Twitter. It felt like communicating via that delay you used to get on worldwide TV interviews.
After that I headed up to the Stand to do a spot in Ava Vidal's
Minority Report. As a result it was the first show of the Fringe that I have actually seen. And I really enjoyed it. It's an examination of people's attitudes towards minorities and Ava is the perfect person to host it. She's not too preachy and gets lots of great gags in, but is a bit scary and spiky and so can also hammer home the points she's making with some effect. Maybe it relies a bit too heavily on video inserts, which I am always a bit suspicious of in live shows, but having said that they video items are extremely interesting and pertinent and do make their points very well. Whether it's my old friend (and
one time adversary) Laurence Clark who filmed a hilarious and fascinating piece about how people will give a disabled person money, no matter what the bucket says he's collecting for. It was astonishing to see him trying to refuse money, telling people it was a scam or a joke and then them still forcing coins on him. Andrew O Neil also did a vaguely dangerous and funny piece about trying to reclaim the phrase "I'm not a racist, but..." from racists.
Obviously my stuff fit quite well into all this and many of the issues in my show were touched upon in this one. It deserves a much bigger crowd, so please go down and see it if you're in town.
I spent the rest of the afternoon making another batch of moustaches and also ringing up www.velcrodirect.com to request a couple more rolls of their excellent moustache making product. I ordered two rolls of 20mm x 25m loop velcro. "Do you need a roll of hook velcro too?" asked the lady, "Or have you already got some?"
I didn't want to have to tell her that I didn't need the hook velcro (having decided the loop looks more moustache like and wanting to avoid the danger of kissing Hitlers being permanently stuck together) so just lied and said "Yes, I've already got those."
Maybe there was a slight hesitation in her voice. After all velcro requires both parts to be of any use and it's a bit unlikely that you would have used up all your Loop yet have Hook left over. But she let it go. I wasn't about to break and tell her that I was using her product to make false Hitler moustaches in the hope of promoting a new campaign to encourage people to vote in order to destroy fascism. Maybe I should have done. Maybe velcro salespeople are sick of their product just being used to hold things together. It might be nice to think that their velcro might bring down fascism.
The current bucket of moustaches is made out of felt material incidentally.
More and more posters are getting the Hitler treatment by the way, including ones like the one shown that aren't even for Edinburgh shows. Keep spreading the word.
After my show I did a spot at a gig for Amnesty which went OK. It was good to have a full and busy day and I felt better for it.
I must get out and see more shows. It is easy to become a lotus eater at the Fringe.
Here, if you are interested is the written podcast
AC
Right, are we on? #chpod
RH
Hello and welcome to the #chpod. It is now beginning. Over to your Andrew. Out.
AC
@Herring1967 I am in the Humanties Reading Room of the British Library. It is quiet here #chpod
RH
I don't know if this is going to work at all, but we will see. How are you @collingsA? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I am calm and my bloodstream is free of alcohol. I was going to do this from your attic but the Tubes are not working #chpod
RH
Have you been thrown out of the library for tweeting #chpod
RH
when you say tubes, you mean the underground right? I don't want you round my house with malfunctioning tubes. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I took my photo using PhotoBooth but realise you're not supposed to take photos in here, so can't link to it #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Yes, the Hammersmith & City line was the most working of all the lines from your house to the Library, but still shit #chpod
RH
I feel like we're on a bit of a time delay. And am alos conscious of wasting tweets as we might hit our limit #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 OK, here's an exclusive from Dail Mail: Kate Moss is ageing like other human beings http://tinyurl.com/ns6s9v #chpod
RH
That is what happens if you share a rolled up cigarette that looks like a marijuana joint. #chpod
AC
I'm not used to saying things in full, without @Herring1967 talking over me. I don't think I like it. I feel exposed #chpod
RH
This #chpod is sponsored by some young man who gave me a pack of biscuits at the Underbelly the other day. I will save them for @collingsA
AC
@Herring1967 I need Kate Moss to be special, and not like us #chpod
RH
Yes this is bound to be rubbish as you have free expression and an equal share of time. If only I could hack into your account #chpod
RH
And that is a euphemism #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I don't want biscuits, I want cakes #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 What? You really want to hack into my anus? #chpod
RH
Are you jealous that Jacko asked Oliver for sperm rather than you @CollingsA? What would you do with Oliver spunk? Nyum nyum nyum? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I'd do anything #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 And then ask for more #chpod
RH
Would you fuck a tortoise in a wound in its shell? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Talking of tortoises . . . #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 What would you do if I really was in your attic, right now? #chpod
AC
Yes I very much enjoyed this story http://tinyurl.com/psqe9n. Mainly because photographer put tortoise by the eggs, like proud dad #chpod
RH
I question whether the tortoise understands what he has done, or if he is capable of appreciating the eggs contain his children. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I like the fact that the man tortoise "wooed" the lady tortoise for 15 years. Did she say, "Chase me?" #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Of course he is - he is an animal and thus cleverer than me and you #chpod
RH
I know it is possible that you are in my attic. I foolishly gave you key. Suspect you are up there wearing my dublin gay fest shirts #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 If I had finished washing up your dirty pans and plates! #chpod
RH
If you want to see tortoises at it then go to Baltic art gallery in Newcastle. Amazing film of failed coupling. If you're into that #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I am either thinking or typing faster than you #chpod
RH
I don't want to see that though and anyone who says I do is lying. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 You have been up Arthur's Seat #chpod
RH
Thanks for asking about my show. Yes it's going very well. You can get tickets here http://tinyurl.com/nfuk9y All 4 and 5 * reviews #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Hey, a man has offered to let me do my Mitfords routine at a venue in Edinburgh! #chpod
RH
@CollingsA Yes I went up Arthur's Seat last week. I am too classy to make a bumming joke. It was the first time ever. He loved it. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I heard that Hitler And His Moustache is the definitive show of the festival. Has Brian Logan been yet? #chpod
RH
Apparently I am not too classy #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I met Germaine Greer on Monday. I think she liked me #chpod
RH
This is not a place for you to shamelessly self-promote Collings. No one is interested in your Mitford crap #chpod
RH
I'm liking it now we're talking over each other, it's more realistic. I've had some ginger beer #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 A man is. #chpod
RH
Brian Logan has not seen the show as yet. I have met Greer too. I once tried to steal her bra. Not very hard though I must admit #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Her bra was not very hard? #chpod
RH
Is the man real or imaginary though Andrew? #chpod
RH
Did you deliberately ignore my very funny "I'd do anything" Oliver joke earlier, in your usual, threatened way? #chpod
RH
You are willfully misinterpreting what I meant for comedic effect. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 His venue is real, it's called The Real Edinburgh Venue Number 3868, and it's not just his flat #chpod
RH
I meant to remind you before going on the One Show not to be your usual racist self and to not spout racial epithets. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 We're plate-spinning now, keeping three conversational threads in the air using only our brains #chpod
RH
Honestly readers, he is worse than the Guardian imagines that I am. We have to edit out so many sexist and racist comments #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I didn't have enough time to be racist on The One Show #chpod
RH
I quite like this actually as I can just totally ignore what you say and do a monologue. It's actually way better than doing it live #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 And I can't smell your burps #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I saw a poster for Tarantino's new film on the Tube, and it didn't actually say the title INGLORIOUS BASTERDS - censored!
AC
@Herring1967 I saw a poster for Tarantino's new film on Tube, and it didn't actually say the title INGLORIOUS BASTERDS - censored! #chpod
RH
I have lost another follower as a result of this. People really are impatient huh? We've been going for half an hour mind #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 They thought they'd get away with it by spelling it BASTERDS. The stupid BASTIRDS #chpod
RH
They can't censor an incorrectly spelled swear word. It doesn't mean anything #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 They might have stopped following you because they expected you to be funny at some point #chpod
RH
I think they're conts #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Then why is it the first ever film poster on the Underground that does not have the title on it? It's a nanny state, man #chpod
AC
I had my photo taken this morning for the Times being crushed by a giant Dan Brown book! Beat that! #chpod
RH
I have been nothing but funny. I am on fire here. Literally on fire. And yet still tweeting. That's dedication. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I wonder if any of my followers don't follow you? (Clearly, thousands of yours don't follow me) #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I'm looking forward to coming to Edinburgh and smelling your suit #chpod
RH
Why don't people just search #chpod and then they can read the disjointed conversation more easily? I agree that it doesn't really work..
AC
I'm not following this on #chpod - I'm following it on my normal Home feed, so I can't read any comments left on our hash
RH
Yes it is rather sweaty in my venue and have no time to dry clean. So suit may fall apart #chpod Still tickets for http://tinyurl.com/n7zbx7
RH
Hopefully our live shows will be more easy to follow. But I will be v tired and hungover by then #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Must be a dry cleaners that does express in Edinburgh? Isn't there one near the fruit shop? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Imagine how many less words we are having to think of this way though. We're stealing a living here #chpod
RH
That would mean getting up during daylight. I prefer to stink with honest sweat of hard work. Yes it is hard work. Like a coal mine #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Got any other "special guests" lined up for the live podcasts? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Get your cleaner to come up for the week. Oh no, that's me, isn't it? #chpod
RH
I can't believe we haven't reached the limit yet. It feels like I've been on here for days #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I will keep mentioning being photographed with a giant Dan Brown book until you find it interesting #chpod
RH
No special guest confirmed, though a certain opera director said he'd be up for it. Haven't seen him up here yet #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I have been in close contact with opera director - I interviewed him for my Times Dan Brown piece! #chpod
AC
I have been growing some sideburns for Edinburgh. I may do a show called Hitler Sideburns #chpod
RH
Have we done enough yet? #chpod. I am flagging a little.
AC
@Herring1967 You are WEAK! #chpod
AC
If you stop now, I am unfollowing you: nice experiment, didn't work, and I want everyone to know it #chpod
RH
I also enjoyed this story of short sighted Somerset mystic http://tinyurl.com/qkdonj #chpod
RH
You can comment at #candh people and follow more easily at #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Yes, because it's funny when people's houses burn down if they are psychics, apparently #chpod
AC
Hey, just read some comments - wish I hadn't. Someone complained about the quality of the "material" - is it really material? #chpod
RH
It is funny though. She has lost all her possesssions. Ha ha ha. But as she is from Somerset that will only be the loss of a potato #chpod
AC
I thought this was just a bit of fun for anyone who chose to follow it. I wasn't aware we were producing "material" to be judged #chpod
RH
She should have seen it coming. Ha ha ha. but she didn't ha ha ha. The twat. #chpod
RH
Now she has no stuff. Priceless #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 The headline really is I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING? No, she didn't. Or she could have stopped it. #chpod
RH
The story would have been made more perfect if she had also burned to death. Then I would be really laughing #chpod
AC
What if a woman's flat burned down, and it wasn't insured, but it was a glass ornament and not a crystal ball? Is that funny? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 And all her family was killed #chpod
RH
Do you think the people unfollowing me will come back or have I lost them forever? Was that your plan all along Collings? #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 This was your idea, hungover man! (My follower count hasn't gone down, despite my "fruit shop" "material") #chpod
AC
Take a pic of yourself with PhotoBooth - that should up the comedy, or the sympathy #chpod
RH
Ah my Chortle review is in. He saw the worst show too http://tinyurl.com/rx4l54 It's OK #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 You should promote yourself more #chpod
RH
I did my picture at the start #chpod
AC
We've nearly done an hour - it's time to find that second wind of hysteria, get some Diet Coke down you #chpod
AC
http://twitpic.com/dlpqo - So long ago
RH
Are we going to stop at 1.06.35? #chpod. We've come this far.
AC
Look, I've found a moody pic of us from Week 3, I think. It's like me now, in your house, but without you http://twitpic.com/dlpqo #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Yes! We owe it to the 14 or so people who are still following you #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Yes! We owe it to the 14 or so people who are still following you #chpod
AC
Are the Edinburgh podcasts officially sponsored? Did you dot the "i"s and cross the "t"s on that deal? #chpod
AC
Does anyone else find the word "ablutions" a bit disgusting? #chpod
AC
I think what we have learned from this experiment is that I type faster than you - and my "material" is poor #chpod
RH
How we've changed. It seems like life time ago when we were new to this and polite and you didn't know your mum was a fucking idiot #chpod
RH
Is she on Twitter incidentally. Hope she's following this conversation. She's the only one who is. #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Careful - my Mum is on Twitter and will be following this! #chpod
RH
I believe the sponsorship deal (if you can call it that) is finalised. People will find out more next week. #chpod
AC
This is actually not much different to having Grace Dent and Emma Kennedy and Boyd Hilton discussing Big Brother on Twitter #chpod
RH
We shall not be retiring on the profits that's for sure #chpod
RH
Maybe we have learned that I consider my replies more than you and also that I can't really work out how to follow the conversation #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 If people want to bring us cake next week, make sure it's shop-bought and sealed in its packaging #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 Which is why it is not like real life, where you do not consider anything except your iPhone #chpod
RH
So you will have to inject your spunk into it with very thin hypodermic needle nyum nyum nyum #chpod I shan't be eating anything from public
AC
Hey, only three minutes of "material" to go. What are you up to now, Rich? #chpod
AC
@boydhilton I read every Tweet, and I don't even know who you're talking about!
RH
I am winding down now. Promise not to tweet for 100 years to make up for this annoyance #chpod
AC
@Herring1967 I'm not going to Tweet until the 2012 Olympics, or I get some decent paying work, whichever comes first #chpod
RH
I am going back to bed now everyone. Thanks for watching us fail. try again, fail again, fail better #chpod
RH
Thanks Andy. See you next week #chpod
AC
Thank you to those of you who still like us. I'm off to eat a home-filled pitta in the British Library Piazza in the sun #chpod
AC
And in the spirit of the actual podcast, we'll allow this one to just cut off in the mi #chpod
