Here's why Ceith Allen is not a Kool Keith, it's because he's trying too hard. Too hard to be controversial and opinionated and dangerous. Whereas really Kool Keith, Keith Floyd was not trying. He was just being himself.
This is a man trying too hard and being uncool - and slightly racist to boot. And if he wanted to properly racist then "poppadom on the shoulder" would have been close to chip. Ah well, we'll leave him to it now.
I went to see "District 9" tonight and though in places the satire was a little heavy-handed and the logic of the script a little cloudy (if the aliens had the means and the desire to leave Earth, then wouldn't everyone have helped them - well perhaps not if we wanted to steal their weapons) was very enjoyable and gripping and threw up more surprises than the average film. I felt sorry for any of the people who might have lived in the shadow of the space ship - which I would have thought that the evil humans would have dismantled bit by bit. It's well worth seeing.
On the way into the cinema a middle aged couple were leaving. The man seemed to be having a bit of trouble opening the door on his side and we were running a bit late so I opened the door next to it, pushing it inwards. Because the man was standing in the middle of the two doors (I am not sure he understood how doors actually worked) my door hit him in the shoulder. I hadn't done it on purpose and it was at least 50% his fault for standing in a stupid place, but I immediately apologised anyway.
The man had a grumpy face anyway, but now he was more pudgily grumpy and said, "Well, that's a bit off," like I had tried to hit him and like none of this was his fault. He trudged through his side with his equally grumpy wife following him. "Don't be like that," I said, "It was an accident and I apologised and it was at least 50% your fault." But he wasn't having any of it, just carried on walking as if everything that happened in his unhappy life was anyone's fault but his own. I lost my temper and shouted, "You stupid cunt!" after him, which may have been a bit strong. But if you're trying to go through a door and other people are trying to come in from the other side, it's probably best to make sure you're stood solidly behind the door you're going through, rather than standing in the middle. Especially if you're having difficulty working out how to get out.
Perhaps he was an alien who had never used a door before and I had been just as rude and judgemental to him as the evil humans were in the film I was about to see.
But I hadn't seen the film at that point so couldn't see the error of my ways.
I could understand being that grumpy if someone has hit you with a door and then not apologised and then maybe laughed in your stupid, sullen face. But I was immediately contrite, even though not 100% responsible.
And I only swore at him because I knew that he couldn't have taken me in a fight.
Maybe it is me who is the cunt. I'd say it was about 60/40 though.
I am the 60.
And only cos I called him a cunt.
He was a bit of a cunt though.
Maybe if you know him yourself, you'll know the bloke I'm talking about.
