Getting a bit scared about "As It Occurs To Me". I made some notes on it today and wrote a bit of the opening monologue, but there's a long way to go and an uncertainty about what the format will be and what I can achieve without the high production values of a radio show. I came up with a sketch idea, but realised it would only work with sound effects being played in. I think that as the project progresses we will be able to do that, but for the moment we should just keep it simple.
As always I leave these things to the last minute so that the white hot fear of failure will kick in and inspire me to be creative and the beauty of this show is that I can give absolutely everything a go and that failure is acceptable. It's cool to be doing a new show and be given a chance to run it in and experiment without constantly fearing that some executive will intervene and cancel it before it's found its feet. There are lots of advantages to having the freedom to do my own thing, but one does also start to realise the comfort that is provided by limitations and being overseen. I have escaped the compound, but now have to fend for myself in the wild. Freedom is terrifying, which is perhaps why everywhere man is in chains.
But I am increasingly excited by the whole project and looking forward to it and though at some times I think I am going to turn up on Monday with no idea of what we are going to do, I also know that the more responsible me of tomorrow (or more likely Sunday) will pull it out of the bag and make up for the slacker and frightened me of today.
I had to do some publicity interviews around lunchtime and it was unusual to be talking about a product that at the moment didn't exist. One journalist worried that I was spreading myself too thin doing two podcasts and seven blogs a week. There is likely to be some crossover, but I will only include used ideas if I have reworked them in some way. And if some great bit of stand up is created in the next ten weeks I will almost certainly introduce it to my act. That is the way this has always worked of course. Blogs have led to stand up or to podcast discussions and podcast discussions have led to bits for Edinburgh shows. It will be good to keep the podcasts as different as possible. It was though a bit disconcerting once Collings turned up to do
Podcast 85, that we ended up discussing subjects I know I want to cover on Monday. I had to hold back a bit, but not (I hope) to the detriment of either show. I did suddenly remember something that I had intended for inclusion in AIOTM, but forgotten about, which I discussed quite fully with Andrew (about transvestite men or flat-chested women disguising liquid explosives as breasts and my desire to be the person who checks inside women's bras to make sure they don't). Maybe I'll do a slighty different version on Monday or maybe there will be more ideas to replace it. We will, I am sure, find the correct balance over the next few weeks and I am sure that you, as usual, will be understanding of the difficulties and supportive of my endeavours. Collings also suggested I was spreading myself thin. Luckily I am fat and there's a lot of me to spread. It will be OK.
I am almost certain it will be OK.
There was a slight panic when TV's Emma Kennedy got in touch to say that she might not be able to do the first two shows fittingly enough due to a TV commitment, but luckily she's going to be able to do the first one. It would be a shame to start without the old team. Like the aged Arlene Phillips that she is, she will be replaced by a younger and more attractive actress for show 2, but she'll be back due to popular demand (as long as she doesn't get more acting work) for the remainder of the run.
Meanwhile probably most of the show will be about my failure to write the show and my incapacitation by fear. Hope you enjoy it.
