Spot the difference!
That's right I don't have a plaster on in the second photo.
Free at last!
Although the tour is not quite over, the death rattle could be heard today as I finished the gig in Stockton-on-Tees. It had been another fun one. I wasn't exhausted, having had a few days off, so could play around with it. I have one more date in May in Liverpool (and I suspect there may be some future occasions when the moustache if not the show might might return) but when I got back to my hotel I headed into the bathroom, lathered up my philtrum and in a few flashes of the blade the horrible moustache was gone. A year's worth of work down the drain. And as I plan to grow my beard back and shave down to the tache before the Liverpool gig and take it off as soon as the thing is over, I had perhaps taken my last steps in public with the toothbrush (aside from every April 16th until I die of course). I didn't keep the hair. Once again it seemed too disgusting to keep and give away, even for charity. But I might collect up the final tache and give it away as a horrible prize inside a random DVD box when that is released in the autumn. We will see.
I had to put my new hairless face to the test and went next door to the pub to buy a celebratory Guinness without having to worry about locals staring at me, or taking offence, or laughing in a concealed, but obvious fashion. I was a norm again. My journey and my nightmare is nearly over. But there's a part of me that is sad to see the thing go. It's been an interesting and illuminating experiment and I think the show I have created out of this square inch of unpleasant hair is the best I have ever done.
I had kissed my girlfriend goodbye without realising that this might be the very last time she had to feel my tiny moustache brushing against her face. I feel a bit sad that she didn't get the chance to bid it a fond farewell. She has been very patient and understanding over this last twelve months.
Now I can concentrate on having a short break (though one more gig before I go - a brilliant line-up at
the Lyric Hammersmith with Ed Byrne, Andy Parsons and Dan Antopolski on Sunday - please come and keep this night alive) and promoting the new book. Before moving on to another season of AIOTM and rewriting Christ on a Bike and possibly working on a new Radio 4 project. Only a small amount of rest for the wicked. And the good news (for me at least) is that due to a double booking at ULU the London reading/book signing will have to be rearranged from May 10th so I will be able to go to the Sony Awards. All the cast and the producer Ben will also be there so we should have fun whether we win or lose. And we are going to have to make the most of it because unlike most awards ceremonies you have to pay to attend. It's very exciting.
So lots to look forward to. Not least of which being able to walk down the street without being judged or mocked or beaten.
Goodbye for now, my toothbrush and thanks for all that you have given me. It's been ridiculous. You might, if nothing else, be my last ever comedy stunt. But never say never, hey Sean?
