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Tuesday 18th May 2010

I was recording an episode of the Radio 4 show "Heresy" tonight (think it's broadcast on June 9th at 6.30 or was it the 2nd? Or another date?) with Victoria Coren in the chair and Mark Steel and Janet Street-Porter on the panel. Due to AIOTM (AIOTM) I had not done much prep for this and was feeling a bit burned out and frazzled and worried I might not rise to the occasion. We were recording in the same room that I had done my fairly disastrous and so far only appearance on The News Quiz and I was a bit afraid that in this state of mind I would stumble and falter again.
But I have come some way in the last (almost exactly) seven years and even though throughout the evening the things I was saying came as much of a surprise to me as they did to anyone else, I managed to hold my own and with only the minimum of waffling get through the evening. It was a very rapid recording and both Mark and Janet had a lot to say (Janet in particular opening up maybe a little more than necessary about a somewhat pornographic attitude towards weathermen - I will never hear Daniel Corbett say "Spits and spots" again without feeling a sense of shame). I had to argue against the common held belief that Cameron and Osborne are too posh by half and, as this is one of my bugbears at the moment, got quite serious about how if it is wrong to be prejudiced against someone for their background, then that holds as true for someone from a privileged family just as it does to anyone else. We shouldn't be judging the Conservatives for their poshness, but for their selfishness and self-interest and their unwillingness to help the weak (though Cameron says he will be doing that - let's see if he does). It's nobodies fault what family they are born into and we should assess everyone by the life they lead not because their parents sent them to public school or whatever. It was perhaps a more interesting subject because we all took it quite seriously and I was surprised when I got a spontaneous round of applause for making some of these points in a fairly humourless way. But that helped me relax a bit and I managed to be a bit funnier with the other subjects, though still flying by the seat of my pants, with no jokes or thoughts prepared!
Which contrasted rather sharply with the me of May 2003 who had nothing prepared, felt out of his depth and started sinking.
And there was more good radio based news today. I have been commissioned to do a 4 part series for Radio 4 about reclaiming objects that have negative associations which I will be recording in the autumn. I fancy my toothbrush moustache might be making a mini-comeback for one of those. I might as well just accept my fate and have it permanently.
Book sales are continuing in a steady by satisfactory fashion. It sold 1204 this week (don't know how Piers Morgan did, but think he may have regained his crown) and now at #42 in the non-fiction paperbacks. And it's now topped 3100 sales (it sold around about 400 in the week before official launch). If things like the book sell well then I can continue with all the free stuff in good conscience. So if you like AIOTM (AIOTM) then it would be cool if you spent £6 on this - plus remember you do get a 120,000 word book to read! Get it here. And I suppose you could buy Emma's book too. Or even have a look into the work of Tiny Andrew Collings which is surprisingly good (aside: it isn't, it's shit).
A few of you have spotted the odd mistake here and there and annoyingly some of them were spotted before the book was printed yet still made it through. The main one to look out for is the character called Julia who then becomes Yasmina and then turns back into Julia. Fortunately both these names are pseudonyms, but I changed the pseudonym at the last minute and a couple of instances were missed. But as a few of you are emailing about it I thought I'd mention it now. Though everything in the book happened I have changed the names, descriptions and jobs of quite a few of the characters, because it's all quite personal stuff and I feel it's only fair to protect the innocent and the guilty. I am happy to dob myself in, but no one else asked to be written about so I think it's only fair. Though the change of name in this case was not the double security of a pseudonym for a pseudonym. I just decided that Yasmina was a bit of a crappy name (for the character - not in general). I have been waiting for some bright spark who has been religiously digesting Warming Up to point out that two of the conversations with the children did not happen in the exact time frame that I claim they did. This, I think, was the only dramatic licence I took with the book. And one of them is only shifted slightly. Apart from that it's all just as it happened (from my perspective). I am sorry mum.
Only about 50 tickets left for the Lyric this Sunday and it's an awesome line up. Pappy's had to cancel due to a filming commitment, but we've got Rich Hall instead, which isn't a bad result. Also on the bill Rufus Hound and some chancer called Stewart Lee. Should be a cracker BOOK NOW.
Someone complained on Twitter (I think with a small amount of tongue in cheek) that my podcasts (and I guess also my blogs) are just full of adverts for myself. Well for the next 8 weeks I will be producing 3 podcasts, totalling around about 2 hours 50 minutes of speaking and I would estimate that maybe 10 minutes maximum of that time would involve me mentioning my book or my gigs or all those other excellent products of mine at Go Faster Stripe. So that leaves only about 160 minutes of original free content a week. I can see why the self-promotion would get annoying.
Not forgetting the 365 blogs a year with what I would guess is at least 300,000 words - at least 2 books worth - of free stuff (once I've taken out the links and plugs).
You are, of course, welcome to enjoy this stuff without buying a DVD or a ticket or a book in your life, but I think it would be churlish to seriously complain about that. And if you resent giving me money then do remember that you can always donate to SCOPE (and only a couple of days to go now if you want to get your name in the programme - though if you do it in the next week or two I reckon you've got a good chance of inclusion). I know there are people out there who have never given anything back in return for any of this - if you're one of them then why not make today the day you give to SCOPE? You might even feel good about yourself afterwards. If not because you're helping others then because your name will appear amongst the mighty and the good. Go on give to charity - and buying Andrew Collings' book counts in this bracket too.

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