Andrew and me managed to hold our shattered relationship together for the sake of show business and convened for another 6Music Saturday morning. Though I played him the Libertines "Can't Stand You Now" as a little in-joke. I think we might still be friends. We certainly had some fun this morning and no coffee was spilled and no obscenities were uttered - apart from the ones I have made up myself. Very pleased to get "Clackerlackadackdack" on to the air.
We asked the listeners to construct a version of their favoured nation's flag for the World Cup. I was looking for something red and something white to construct a flag of St George, and James, our exec, suggested CDs, which was a great call. The galleries are pretty hard to find
but here's a link to everything we've done so far and here
is the World Cup stuff.
Something that won't make it into the gallery though is the drawing I did to demonstrate to Andrew how easy life drawing was.
Here it is. It's of a goggle-eyed man with a tiny moustache and well-defined cheek bones. It is art so please don't masturbate whilst looking at it.
We have relaxed into this job (most weeks anyway) and are having lots of silly fun with each other and the listeners and their ridiculous stories. It's a podcast you can listen to with your mum. Even if you are Andrew Collins.
There are links to iPlayer and the Podcast on here.
Afterwards I met my girlfriend and went for a picnic in Kensington Park. I keep forgetting to have a life and do fun things and make the most of this fine city I live in. What an astonishing park it is. Though as we walked past the big pond in the middle later I was once again fighting off the impulse to push my companion in. Whenever I pass a body of water I think how funny it would be to actually do this. It wouldn't be very funny as it would be incredibly unpleasant and inconvenient. But then that is what makes it funny.
Today I wondered how people would respond if I picked up a stranger's 3 year old child and threw him as far into the mini-lake as I could. My guess was that it would create consternation and that I would be attacked, arrested and imprisoned, as well as mentally scarring an innocent child for life. My girlfriend would probably finish with me too. It almost seemed worth it due to the humorous potential of being so horrible and self-destructive. And there was a chance that everyone would just look at me aghast and confused and I'd get away with it. But I resisted this temptation too.
I hope I don't ever cross the line between imagined and genuine insanity. At points in the 6Music show I thought I was getting close.
Tossing kids into ponds is not an acceptable way to make a living.
But I caught the last few minutes of Britain's Got Talent and it seems from this final and the last one that if you can throw a small child high up in the air and then catch him that that will win you fame and fortune. There's such fine dividing line.
I had hoped to get some work done tonight, but fell asleep watching Dr Who and decided to rest up and hope that AIOTM will come together tomorrow.
I will be attempting to write it in a car on the way to the Hay Festival and back. It's a ten hour round trip. If you want to come and see the bit where I am not in a car then
details are here.
