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Sunday 30th January 2011

The flight was surprisingly painless and I managed to sleep for about five hours on and off, which meant that for once I was not too blasted upon my arrival. It's probably the first long haul flight that I have ever had without having had a drink. I always thought I needed to be pissed to sleep on flights, but it turns out that sobriety is possibly a more effective route. Having said this I think it's pretty likely that I will finally have a drink on this holiday. Today marks 29 weeks since I last imbibed. And I knew that even a small beer would knock me out today and wanted to stay up as late as possible.As the plane came into land I looked out of the window and all that we could see was ocean, so I hoped some land would magically appear at the last moment, and with a theatrical sense it did just that about two seconds before we landed.
After the freezing cold of London we were hit by the hot air of the Maldives as we came down the steps from the plane, which was enough to make us laugh out loud at our good fortune. Getting out of the airport was even easier. Our cases, covered in icy condensation from the flight came on to the carousel early and were unusually passed through X-Ray machines on this end of the flight (perhaps searching for drugs) and we were out into the tiny airport. We were directed to a booth where a man checked off our names and then almost immediately led us to a small jetty where a speed boat was waiting just for us and which departed the minute we had embarked. I don't think I have ever had such an efficient start to a holiday.

I was still in my suit, but I took off my jacket and shoes as we lounged on the upper deck of this small boat as it cut through the water. The sun was shining and the sea was a deep, rich blue and as it that wasn't enough a dolphin jumped out of the water and danced on the surface for us. Already this holiday was worth it. If the boat had deposited at Hammersmith Bridge I wouldn't have been entirely disappointed. Though I might have asked for my money back after a small amount of thought.
The sea was a little choppy and bounced through the waves, occasionally splashing us with a fair amount of spray. The driver or captain or whatever you care to call him looked at us concerned that we might be annoyed or want to go down to the lower deck, but we were laughing and enjoying it. I wondered what they did about getting guests to the hotel if conditions were really bad, but apparently these were quite bad conditions so I guess they just have to hope that they have a strong stomach. Everything was so idyllic that a little bit of water wasn't going to ruin it. We passed a few small islands and places where the water was shallow but the land was still submerged. Like big Chard Islands waiting to be discovered. Though alas I think it's more likely that the existing islands will sink beneath the waves than new ones will form.
The boat went fast, but evenso it took us an hour to get from the airport in the middle of nowhere to our island even more in the middle of nowhere. I have never stayed on such a small island (given that I never actually slept overnight on Chard Island) which we were able to walk around in just five minutes. The hotel and its rooms and restaurant are all that occupy this lump of sand in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I think I am going to like living here for the next two weeks. It's going to be just relaxing and eating and maybe drinking.... Our room backs on to a lagoon and I climbed down some wooden steps and was in the water within the hour.
We were a bit wiped out by the time we'd settled in and did a bit of exploring and swimming. There is a hammock outside our room, so I am happy and I briefly rested in it whilst my girlfriend got changed. As I looked up at the trees I saw something nibbling at some leaves up above. It was big, so I assumed it was a bird, but it turned out to be a massive bat, with the wingspan (it seemed to me) of a seagull. I was delighted and freaked out in equal measure. It made to fly off and I worried it would dive towards me and bite me in the face, but it went on its way leaving me unmolested. I love the disorientation of the first day of holiday, when the different sights and creatures surprise you and remind you of how every day life felt when you were a child. After dinner we again walked along the beach the long(er) way round to our room and crabs were sent scuttling before us.
It's an amazing hotel, though everything is expensive (though of top quality) and luckily the prohibitive internet charges mean that I will only be coming on here for half an hour a day. But that's not a bad thing. It would be a shame and quite annoying I imagine to spend all my time tweeting while I am here. So I will write up my blog beforehand, then sign in to post it, check the news and then get back to lounging around.
We managed to stay up until about 9.30 local time (it would have been 4.30 at home) before we fell asleep. I set my alarm for 9 the next morning, just as a precaution so we wouldn't miss breakfast, assuming it was just a precaution. But incredibly we both managed to sleep almost all the way through that eleven and a half hours. I love being on holiday!

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