Podcasts today with Collings and as we're trying to stay weekly even when I am away for long stretches on tour we are doing two every time we meet for the moment, which leads to some numbering issues and it took us a good five minutes to work out what was going out when. Last week we recorded podcast 151 and a spare, but as we were also doing some this week, last week's spare will go out next week as podcast 153. I will be back on the 15th so we can record a topical podcast 154 then, which means today's extra podcast will go out the week after as podcast 155 and the extra one we do next time will be 156. Are you keeping up? We had to be careful not to back reference to anything that we had mentioned last week in podcast 153, because in your Universe we were only on podcast 152. It's highly complicated and we are living saints for caring enough to keep you regularly updated with our anal-fixated meanderings.
Anyway, all you will get to hear from this for the moment is
podcast 152, which Collings seems to think is dominated by me talking about the towns I am touring to (he writes the little synopsis for each show), but which I recall was full of him blathering on about something or other - I don't know exactly what as I mentally turn off whenever he is speaking. To be honest I don't care who is speaking as long as we get through the bloody thing, but it amuses me to think of Collings listening to them all with a stop watch to see who has the most minutage. If he's going to do it he should also factor in how many laughs there are per minute (though for him a per hour figure will probably suffice). It will inevitably lead to a future in which he does the first half hour and I do the second so that we get equal airtime. Though of course, no one will ever get through the first 30 minutes to find out what I said.
Anyway I don't know why I am trying to whip up hostility, because after our shaky patch at the start of the year we seem to be getting on pretty well at the moment and comfortably talked for two and a half hours (plus the stuff we said to each other that wasn't recorded). Alas my Macbook again ran out of memory or something just at the end of 152 so you miss the last five minutes or so - and this time there is no nerd with a tape recorder to rescue us. We are fools because although this is exactly what happened during the lost (the found) Edinburgh podcast, we both assumed that because Garageband still seemed to be going that the post-crash stuff would be being recorded. It wasn't. And it is gone. So you'll never find out about Stewart Lee in Croupier.
And ridiculously we didn't even really get to talk about the Oscars, even though I was with the Film Editor of the Radio Times, because like the fucking attention seeking idiot that he is, Collings had wanted to watch the ceremony through, but was too old and tired to stay up overnight to watch it, so had recorded it and was going to watch it this evening. So like some kind of modern day Likely Lad he was trying to get through the day withouh hearing the results. Seriously, what a prick. Naturally he didn't manage to avoid the news that Colin Firth had won and he also accidentally noticed that Tim Minchin had been involved in one of the other winners. Collings has a sad and empty life. This is the only way he can get his kicks. Next year, no doubt, after loving the Oscars for ages and writing about them fastidiously in his blog, he will decide he is never going to watch the Oscars again (like he's done with his favourite shows "The Apprentice" and "Masterchef"). He is mercurial and odd and will probably give up doing the podcasts on an insane whim soon. As you can see he has been given no reason for such a decision, the massive Mr Punch faced twat.
Apparently I like him really though, as one of the questions of the Mastermind section of our final (for the moment) 6Music show was "Do you like Andrew Collings?" and I said I didn't and that was wrong. So I must like him.
More reason to come and see our
live podcast in May. Who knows when this gravy train (that is entirely empty of gravy and just heading back to the factory to pick up more gravy, but we have to pay for the trip and we're not allowed to have any gravy when we get there) will derail?
(Remember book for
the Christ on a Bike DVD record as well and save five pounds on the ticket price.
My evening was spent trying to work out how much stuff I needed to take with me for the next 13 days on the road. Not only do I need pants to get me through that time, but also have to approximate how many programmes we will get through and how many books and DVDs I will sell. We have hired a people carrier because my little car could not cope with the excess baggage (we barely got all the stuff for one gig at a time in there, even with the seats down), but I still don't know how much room there will be, or even how the screen for the projector will fit in at all. I must go back to doing my regular stand up shows again. The plan is also that I can sit in the back and work whilst Reliable Pete does the driving, but we will see if that works out. It's a long way to Shrewsbury tomorrow so we will see if I start work on my new script or if I just end up watching films on my computer!
We have eased ourselves in to this with seven gigs in ten days, all within driving distance of London, with regular days off. But now the tour begins in earnest. I will be in hotels for the next 12 nights and gigging for 13 days in a row without a break (in fact doing 14 shows as there are two in York). At the moment the prospect is quite exciting, but there are still 50 shows to go even when this first leg is over (that's the equivalent of two Edinburgh Fringes, plus having to drive around the country in between gigs). I just have to take this one show at a time for the moment. Hope you can make it to
one of the shows. A new one has been added in Sutton Coldfield on the 23rd March by the way.
Anyway, off on tour we go (is it tempting fate for me to quote Jason Manford's show title there - Skype me with your top off to let me know). I hope I have enough pants.
