I had been a bit nervous about the Lowestoft gig: worried that it might become overwhelmed by the publicity or the protest, but also concerned that this big theatre was going to be empty (pre sales had been poor). As it turned out it was one of my favourite nights of the tour.
It was a long and tiring journey to get to Lowestoft, taking us a good four hours, which seems surprising for somewhere that looks like it's so close to home, but it's a fiddly route down A roads.
We got there at about 5 and the staff were on hand with info, making jokes about having a blanket to cover me with so I could get past the marauding angry Christians. They said they were expecting anything between 20 and 200 protestors and as presales were on about 78 this meant there was a chance that there might be more people outside the theatre than inside it. I wondered if I should make a pact with the Presbyterians that whoever had the most supporters would win and the other would have to admit they were wrong and retire from public life.
The staff were very supportive - funnily enough with the poor sales I think they might have pulled the gig if there hadn't been all this fuss, but once the clamour began it would have looked like backing down, so the church members had not only got me on the front page of the local paper (in an article that not only quoted me as saying that the people of East Anglia were backward, but also claimed the show compared God to Del-Boy - wrong! It compares Jesus to Trigger), but had doubled the sales and probably even caused the show to go ahead when otherwise it probably would have been quietly forgotten about. God moves in mysterious ways.
I was shown the letters page of this week's Lowestoft Journal, which was full of angry letters about the show. Not one person had written in to support the show. Perhaps I was not welcome here at all.
But I went out to meet the protestors, passing the police on the way who had turned up in case of any trouble.
They needn't have worried too much though as when I got outside there were only about 20 people, all very peaceful, mostly elderly and a couple on mobility scooters. They recognised me quickly and we had a long chat about the show and about Jesus. An old lady in the group had come up to me smiling and kissed me on the cheek as I arrived. I told her that this was the only action I had had on this tour and pleased she came back and kissed my other cheek. I hadn't expected to be kissed by an old lady tonight. But it was a funny start to the gig. I talked to a few of the evangelical Christians, including Pastor Kyle Paisley (I am guessing) who has already provided me with that quote for the next poster. I think it probably helped that I went to meet them and I was able to show how I knew quite a lot about the subjects, recognising the Bible quotes and being able to chat about Josephus who Pastor Paisley brought up. But there's little point in us talking really. I wasn't going to be converted and they were never going to listen to my arguments. In a way I envy them their absolute certainty and the simplicity of unstinting belief in one book - most of their arguments were that because it said something in the Bible that made it true. Some people need certainty and security in their life and if, for example, a belief in Jesus has helped you escape a terrible thing in your life (whether death, loneliness or dependency on drugs or alcohol) then I can understand why you would have to have 100% faith in Jesus, because to allow a chink of doubt into your mind might bring it all crashing down and send you spirraling back towards whatever you were escaping. I may be wrong, but I don't think many content people become born again Christians. And that's not to criticise it. If religion has helped them that is a great thing. Whatever gets you through the night.
I eventually made my excuses and went to prepare for the show. About 100 people were there in the end, which was more than I had expected and once again the protest had probably helped whip up a good atmosphere. The crowd were very excited from the start and there was lots to riff about. I knew that someone from the Lowestoft Journal was in the audience and in the second half allowed myself to vent a bit about the inaccuracies in the report and speculate about what lies he might tell about the show or which bits he would take out of context. It was fun to mock a newspaper that I knew was reviewing the show, but it was unlikely that a bad review from the Lowestoft Journal would break me. It was light-hearted anger and also gave me a chance to talk about my comment about East Anglia being backward. I told the audience that when it came to being inbred, backward freaks Somerset shat all over East Anglia. It was all kinds of fun.
One of the members of the audience, who was thoroughly enjoying himself, seemed to like to cheer at jokes rather than laugh at them and was throwing in some comments (every time I said Booz, he said "Mighty Booz" which made me laugh) but it added to the crazy atmosphere of the evening and I was able to question whether this man even existed. Was he just a voice in my head.
In the interval a family at the frong substituted my bottle of water for a bottle of wine. It was all happening.
The show had a new breath of life and it becomes much more theatrical in a big space (even if there aren't too many people in). I hope I get the chance to come back another time, though without the controversy will I be able to get an audience this big? The theatre staff seemed to think the problem was that I was also playing Norwich for three nights, which had this knock on effect. They were very nice about it all, given that I was losing them money. So thanks to them for sticking behind this show in the eye of the storm and for making me so welcome.
Most of the audience seemed to come for an autograph and a chat and they all seemed to have enjoyed it and were grateful that I had made the effort and not pulled the show. So luckily it probably meant seven times as much to them as it might to anyone else, which sort of made the theatre full.
Thanks to Erik who joined in the spirit of things and
dressed up as Father Ted to join the protest. You can read the news report from the lying Lowestoft Journal
here. The journalist came for an autograph too and we had a laugh about my comments in the show. I thanked him for the publicity and the lies and he thanked me for the increased sales. I look forward to his review.
Tomorrow on to Norwich where another protest is planned (and this is the one that we got the slightly more threatening letter for) so do come along and join in Norwich folk. Bring your own signs. There are tickets for all three nights, though Friday and Saturday are close to selling out.
Book here.
