So didn't finish my script today- but you know, I'm sure I'll finish it tomorrow....
I fear we may be stuck in a perpetual Groundhog Day where I feel I have got close to the end, only to find the next morning that the finish line seems further away than ever.
But had quite a lot of stuff to deal with today - meetings about my next tour, a radio show and a gig - and I also made the sensible decision to go for a swim in the morning. I am keen to get back into my exercise regime properly. It's been a pretty stressful month one way or the other and it's important to get out of the house and keep fit. And with swimming particularly, once you get into it, it's monotonous in a good way and my mind drifts and I find myself having ideas. Today bits of the love show were drifting through my brain as I swam and I was almost subconsciously thinking of ways to improve a routine or even just the occasional sentence. There's a dream like quality to the thought processes while swimming and just as dreams are supposed to be a way to assimilate the information from the day, I found the 20 minutes in the pool (it's been a while since I've gone) helped me to take stock and send in the white blood cells of my imagination to repair the damaged bits in the new show.
I was a little bit distracted by a group of burly men doing some kind of swimming class. Usually when there's a class in the pool it's full of middle-aged women, but this one was run by a man who looked like a sergeant major and was comprised solely of barrel chested and muscular young men. They were mostly proper beef-cakes and I was able to admire them as prime examples of the human machine. Just imagine one of them holding you tight at night - you'd feel so safe and yet slightly in danger. They could crush you or protect you. Any woman who goes for brain over brawn is a fucking idiot!
I didn't think it was a good idea to go and ask for a hug though, but if I turn out to be gay, this might have been the day that marked the change in my outlook. Might be worth a punt
But it was only 10% sexual and 15% wanting to be held in their strong arms - I was mainly just impressed with the physical prowess that man is capable of. I didn't envy them, but just swam in awe of humans who were technically the same as me, but if you put us side by side, might, to an alien, appear to be different species. Or different sexes.
I was trying to work out if they were soldiers or members of the SAS preferably, being taught to swim super efficiently for hand to hand underwater combat or maybe sportsmen - later I saw some of them wearing London Irish jerseys so I guess they were rugby players. Which wasn't as exciting as them being in the SAS. But maybe they were in the SAS but all supported the same rugby team and liked swimming. I am sure the SAS has clubs and the London Irish supporting Aqua aerobics club must be one of the most popular.
Oh dear, I think I'm going to have to have a difficult conversation with my girlfriend. No one could have seen this coming. Still I think she'd rather I left her for a platoon of rugby loving, synchronised swimming soldiers than another woman.
Tonight I took part in a new panel show called Dilemma (I think it will be on Radio 4 in November) hosted by the wonderful Sue Perkins (who really should get sponsorship from Superkings) with fellow panelists Rebecca Front, Dave Gorman and Dominic Lawson. It was very silly and lots of fun and not unlike AIOTM
's Moral Maze (though they piloted this last year so it's just a coincidence) as we were asked about how we would behave in certain ethically confusing situations. It was very silly and fun and Sue, who unbelievably has never hosted a panel show before (that's what she claimed anyway, I seem to remember her taking the helm for the 99p Challenge), was charmingly confused by the buzzer system - looking like a 1950s telephone operator as she tried to work out how to reset the somewhat archaic buzzer equipment. Who knows what panel shows of the past had used this very box of tricks?
What fun to make a living dicking around with friends. I hadn't met Dominic Lawson before, but despite not working in comedy he got some of the biggest laughs - especially when he was forced to defend Amanda Holden and take on her persona. It's a series that I think is going to be well worth a listen. Sorry you have to wait til November.
I'm running a Half Marathon for SCOPE in October - why don't you do the same? All the details are here. Go on. Give it a go.
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