The etiquette of whether one should assist or not assist blind people is somewhat unclear.
Of course it is always nice to offer someone assistance when you can see they are in difficulty, but then again one is always aware that you risk patronising a blind person by offering to help them with something that they are quite capable of doing.
So this afternoon I was shopping at the Marks and Spencer Foodhall (you used to shop at Sainsburys, Rich, what happened to you. Who do you think you are? You think you're better than other people because you were on TV nearly five years ago. Everyone in the world hates you - well let them, as long as I can have nice steam microwave meals- they do those at Sainsburys - yes, but they're not as nice).
I put my purchases on the conveyor belt, after the woman in front had territorially shielded her purchases from mine with a "next customer" sign. Good job she did that too. The cashier might very well have started to ring some of my stuff through with hers and then she'd have had to say, "Sorry, no, those aren't mine."
As I was doing this, a blind man queued up behind me. He had a guide dog and everything. There was no doubting his blindness. As I finished putting out my posh goods (I recommend the low fat apple bisuits. They are great. So great that I always eat all 8 of them at one sitting, thus negating any low fat benefit they may otherwise have given me) and looked back at the blind man. I thought that it must be quite difficult for him to know when to start putting his groceries down on the belt and even really to know where the belt is and where my groceries begin and end. Even if I put up the "Next Customer" sign, what use would that be? He couldn't see it. Should I offer to help him?
I decided that this was on the patronising, rather than helpful side of the equation and didn't say anything. But then I thought about it again, "How can he know that it's OK to start putting his stuff down? He can't start feeling around. He might be mauling other people's over-priced, individually wrapped, yet still rather superior food."
I considered the situation carefully. My stuff had now moved along the conveyor belt and there was room for his stuff. But he couldn't possibly know that. He couldn't see. I decided that actually this was one situation where it might be OK to offer assistance.
I tried to sound as unpatronising as possible.
"Do you need any help putting your stuff out?" I asked patronisingly.
The man was polite, but firm, "No thank you." He indicated his dog, "She will help me with that."
Dammit, I had made a horrible mistake. I had assumed that there was no way for him to be able to do this simple task himself, without realising that this would be one of the situations that a guide dog would be trained to deal with.
I had been a Good Samaritan who was trying to help someone who didn't want to be helped. Someone who was just having a nap in the road and who I was now dragging off to a local hotel for treatment and sustenance. I was an Annoying and Patronising Samaritan. Apparently that's what most Samaritans were like. That's why all the rest of the people in the Bible hated them. Jesus doesn't mention it but even the Good Samaritan was a bit annoying and patronising. He kept checking up on the bloke he's rescued for months after he was all better and made comments that made the recovered man feel like he was a child. The man thought it would be ungrateful to complain and never told anyone of his annoyance, but it actually went on so long that in the end he wished that the "Good" Samaritan had left him to be eaten by small birds. Jesus doesn't mention that bit. It would have spoilt his parable and made him look like a fool. The truth is that all Samaritans are gits. If you ever meet someone from Samaria then make a polite excuse and leave. You see. He'll patronise you on your way out.
I was embarrassed to have troubled the man, even though my motives were good. And when I thought about it and saw the dog in action, it did seem very impressive. Not that the dog actually emptied the basket. That would be too much to expect. But she knew to move forward when her master's turn had come and to sit near the belt so that he could feel the space where his items would go.
I wanted to comment on how clever this was, but felt I'd caused enough trouble already. Instead I will say it here, let's hear it for the guide dogs and the people who train them to do this amazing stuff. I am ashamed that I didn't take a more active part in the Blue Peter campaigns to raise money for them. I could have stolen bottle tops from neighbours' milk or taken part in a bring and buy sale rather than laughing about how rubbish the idea was with my mates and saying it would never work.
Ah well, I guess many of us are stupid and cynical and don't think things through when we are young.
I thank God we didn't have the internet back then. It would be embarrassing to look back and realise that I had put my idiotic thoughts up in a public place. That far from making the person I directed them at look foolish they just made me look like the feckless idiot that I undoubtedly was.
Not that I'm overburdened with fecks now I'm older. As this story perhaps demonstrates. But I'm glad that I can acknowlede my fecklessness now. Hey we all make mistakes!
It was as I was paying for my stuff and looking at the items of the man behind that I began to wonder how a blind person even begins to shop in a supermarket. How do they know which aisle the thing they want is in (that's hard enough to ascertain when you can see)? He had a bottle of wine there. How could he choose the type of wine he wanted (again, I usually just close my eyes and pick one, so maybe it's not that big a deal)?
Of course I couldn't ask him. I presumed this was a case where maybe he would ask for help from a staff member or passerby, but looking into the dog's brown eyes I wondered if I was just being patronising again.
Had they trained the dog to recognise the label and vintage of all wines? To recommend a cheeky little number that would appeal to her owner?
Maybe we shouldn't be ashamed to ask these questions. Maybe it is better that we know, so that we can begin to appreciate when we're a Good (ie slightly less annoying than usual) Samaritan and when we're a stupid, self-obsessed git who has no interest in the world around him.
If anyone knows the details of how the blind shop in a supermarket I would love to know. I would also be interested to find out if there any blind readers of this website. (Maybe not as stupid as it sounds. Doubtless there are computer programmes that can read script and if not at least a friend can read it out for you. Not your guide dog though. Surely. Or are they that amazing?)
Seriously would love to hear your thoughts on this one.
