I think I am glad I live in the 21st Century, being as many of you are, a refugee from the 20th Century which had its plus points, but certainly in the first eight decades of its existence was somewhat unenlightened. And not that things are perfect now - I know in certain ways they are worse- but a lot of the changes are for the better.
I thought about this as I went to get my hair cut this afternoon, as I wondered what my grandad Don Hannan would have made of it if he could have seen me. In his day if a man got his hair cut he went to a manly barber who would roughly clip your hair, never stopping to run his fingers through it in case anyone got the wrong idea. The ladies might head to a salon, where they'd be pampered and have to put on gowns and there might be a somewhat effeminate man in the building, but men had none of that nonsense - just sit in the chair, wrapped in a sheet, hair clipped on to the floor, the offer of some condoms so everyone could be sure that their heterosexuality was still firmly in place and then out into the street. It would take ten minutes and you'd pay in coins. Done and dusted. I had many such haircuts as a child (though without the offer of something for the weekend) - prosaic, efficient with the whiff of embarrassment about contact with another human.
Today I went to a salon where I was dressed in a little gown, given magazines to read, offered a coffee (though they didn't bring it even though I accepted), had my hair washed by a grumpy teenager who also gave me a head massage (without asking me if I wanted it - I consider that scalp rape) and then a man with flamboyant dyed hair and impressively intricate nail varnish chopped away lightly at my hair and charged me £51. What would Don Hannan make of all that? He'd be flabbergasted I am sure, mainly at the price (this is a man who nearly had a heart attack when he offered to buy a round of tea at the service station and it came to 50p)- he might have a point about that to be honest- but would he also see the whole exercise as an emasculation as well as a gigantic con? Like everyone of his generation Don had some prejudices that distanced me from him a little as I became a teenager, though he was in some ways unusually liberal, but I am guessing he would have found it untenable to have his hair cut in a ladies' salon by a man who might possibly be homosexual. I think at least it would have made him uncomfortable. So whilst Don might have had a point that a pound per hair lightly clipped is possibly too much to pay, I am glad that I live in a time when men don't have to be so repressed and stupid about this stuff and we can increasingly be whoever we want to be. Even if I haven't grown up very much in the last forty years, our country has. A little bit. I am prepared to accept the inflation of hair cuts in return for the improvements. And if we can have complete equality and acceptance regardless of race, sex or sexuality I am prepared to pay £75 to get my hair cut. But NO MORE than that! You have to take a stand even when it comes to creating true equality.
My monthly Lyric Hammersmith gigs start up again on September 25th. We've got Phil Nichol, Matthew Crosby and Wes Packer this month, plus another act to be confirmed (when I have managed to find someone who is free to do it). Book your tickets now
at the Lyric website. It really is one of the funnest gigs I've been involved with. Book ahead for October 30th while you're there - the headliner is Stewart Lee. That will sell out for sure!
