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Wednesday 12th November 2003

I was on London Live for the second time in less than two weeks. As I walked in the glass doors at the front I saw the guy at the security desk beaming at me in recognition. It was like I was a long lost friend. I had arrived a bit early last time and it had been quite late at night so there had just been the two of us there. I remembered we had been listening to the show and laughing at a couple of things in it.
The security man laughed again, “Do you remember, from the other night?” he asked.
I said that I did but we were both struggling to think of what the specific thing that had really made us crack up had been.
Within a few seconds he’d got it, “My husband is a monkey!” he said triumphantly and we laughed again. The context of this was that the other guest on the previous show had been a guy who did astrology based on the Chinese Zodiac, more specifically judged people by the year they were born in and what animal that particular year had been. A woman had rung up and very seriously started a conversation with the sentence, “My husband is a monkey…” Both me and the security guard had laughed at this. I had felt like saying, “Well that’s quite astonishing, but maybe that’s for another show. We’re talking about the Chinese Zodiac tonight. And whatever problems you have then you only have yourself to blame. You did after all consent to marrying a monkey. You should have seen disaster looming. At the very least you could never expect to keep bananas in the house.”
But none of this had to be said at the time. No-one in the studio laughed at this statement (which would have been bizarre in any other context), but we both saw the ridiculousness of it immediately. And because we had shared a moment and a laugh we were now greeting each other with smiles and familiarity.
There is nothing like a sense of humour to connect us.

Later in the studio, when we were off air, Vanessa Feltz from off of Celebrity Big Brother would tell me a story about the relative qualities of her vagina. Which isn’t something I ever expected to happen to me.

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