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Sunday 10th March 2013

A tour lurgy is descending, which is not good news and I had a bad sore throat during tonight's Leeds gig. But I battled through, despite having the hardest job in the world, playing to the biggest audience of the tour so far (around 450) at the fabulous City Varieties. All comedians seem to love this venue and rightly so. It's the perfect size and the staff are great and the audiences always up for it from the get go.
I had been weary all day, making plodding progress on the script, but was greatly cheered by visiting and revisting Dan Tetsell's new page on the Hollyoaks website. I don't think anything could have made me happier than this. Dan, who you'll know from his sterling work on As It Occurs To Me (for some reason not mentioned on his CV on the website - but maybe for the best, it might blow the minds of the teenage fans of that show), has landed a recurring role on what was once my favourite soap opera (I haven't really watched it for five years, but for some reason was obsessed with it before that). In many ways I should be jealous of him. It was always my dream to play a middle-aged man who moves to Hollyoaks and gets off with all the female characters (and a couple of the men, I'm not fussy) one by one (or maybe a couple at a time). It never happened for me, but now Tetsell is in a similar role it seems - though I am not sure he's going to cop off with all the women, maybe just one, but I would have taken that. Dan has been getting a lot of acting roles of late (and he surely has AIOTM to thank for that - though weirdly I have had no offers), but Hollyoaks is the pinnacle of his career for sure. His character may not have the emotional depth of King Herod or Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes, but he's still doing a great job. My favourite bit of the write up is "Suave, elegant, charming, handsome… are not words that we would use to describe Jim McGinn. He’s pretty much the opposite of all of those things." What's great about that is that the first three are things that are down to his portrayal of the character, but being the opposite of handsome is something that Dan has no control over. I hope he does a Fringe show called "The Opposite of Handsome - my life on the 'Oaks". And if it's a one-man show I hope he gets the lead part again.
And talking of bellends Michael Legge has been spending today blogging for 24 hours for Comic Relief. Check out the website and donate some money. Please point out that he is a bellend as you do that though.
And the good-natured crowd at the City Varieties provided me with more fun. When I said I was happy to sign their programmes a woman shouted out, "Will you sign my tits?" I said I would, using my penis as the pen, but then reconsidered because I remembered that I am married (though can't think of any married comedians who have got into trouble over something like this) but more importantly she was way at the back of the theatre and I couldn't be sure what she looked like. But she repeated the heckle later and I told her she was coming across a bit desperate and given the nature of the show I should only be allowed to sign cocks (no one has requested this yet), but do remember fellas I've got quite a long name so make sure you've got a skin chimney that can accommodate 14 letters if you want that service.
I signed no breasts or cocks or arses or fannies (that would be quite a challenge), but I still had a lovely time in Leeds. Monday is my final Yorkshire gig in Harrogate - spread the word, there are plenty of seats left for this one - and then we're driving home through the snow and freezing wind, back to my little human/feline family.

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