I spent most of the day with a rising feeling of queasiness in my stomach as I attempted to learn a show, much of which has been written in the last 48 hours. Although it is always a bit like this, and I know one always forgets with time how frightening it is, I am sure it's been a few years since I have had to learn so much in so little time. It seemed an impossible task, which is, of course rather apt.
On top of this even the more familiar bits have changed so regularly that it was difficult to be sure I knew them either. Jeremy sat in a chair pulling the hair out of his ears (this isn't a metaphor for frustration or anything, he actually was doing this. I think that's strange. Personally I prefer to pull out my nasal hair on such occasions. That is normal) as I tried to struggle through. Some of it was coming together, but other bits (such as the hastily written end) were not sinking in.
I prepared for humiliation. What if I got five minutes in and couldn't remember anything else?
On the plus side it's a story and I can just tell it like that and hope some jokes find their way in. But we are also keen to get an accurate timing and if I flanneled or forgot stuff this was going to make this very difficult.
The venue seemed well prepared (if they can do it then maybe so can I) and pretty busy too when I arrived in the afternoon. I was disappointed to hear I'd only sold 58 tickets by 5pm. Not that that is terrible at this stage, but I think I did better last time I was here. But maybe I didn't. There should also be a walk up, but I hoped I hadn't overstretched myself by moving up to a 200 seat venue. I need to do around 70% business to break even (which is good - last year I did about 95% and lost £7000), so obviously a few days of 30% could spell disaster. If I sold no tickets I think I lose around £16,000. I could date almost 200 women for that!
The gig was a little nervous and shaky and I had to ask for a prompt once and check my crib sheet three or four times, but the audience were good natured and enjoyed it and to be honest if they'd seen me at 2pm they would have been astonished at how slick I was. I only went over by 5 minutes, which is also an amazing triumph. If I can do it without the flailing around then it could be almost the right length now. I am looking forward to experimenting with it and getting the right mixture of gags, narrative and suspense.
But I came off feeling good and not like throwing myself off a bridge (though that usually only happens once the reviews come out) and although it's going to get a lot better, it was still good.
I went for one beer and had four.
Still a lot of work to do tomorrow, so can't rest on my laurels, but the nasty bit is now nearly over and the fun is about to begin.
The Edinburgh Fringe has begun.
