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Sunday 29th August 2004

After a bit of a shaky week I managed to pull a great performance out of the bag for the last show. I was just having fun with it again and messing around and not worrying about over-running (did over 70 minutes in the end) and that's all the show needs. Being restricted by time and being scared to step outside of the script has probably made things a bit too tense. But I had great fun saying whatever came into my head, my favourite bit being an extended riff on why Paula Radcliffe was a quitter and how I hated her and wished she would die. In the light of the Laurence Clark incident this got an interesting reaction. Though there is a little part of me that thinks Radcliffe may be a little highly strung, I don't actually think she should die or that she hasn't been magnificently brave and professional. The joke of all this was partly to try and make out that I am better at running the Marathon than her (because I finished it and she didn't - just this once), but mainly it's about saying something that no-one would think in order to get a reaction. Of course there was opposition from the crowd to my comments, but I just rolled with them and that was what made it funny. The more they protested, the worse I would be. It was like a pantomime and people were aware that I didn't really want Radcliffe to die just because she has given in twice apparently when she's realised she isn't going to get a medal.
But it's funny to hear someone saying something so out of kilter with popular opinion and also I think (not so much in this case) quite a necessary thing.
In a sense I was letting my frustrations out again in this show, but unlike with the latecomers the other day I managed to find the right tone of indignation. And I did quite a few bits in the show today which pushed things further than usual, but which all really worked and made the piece feel spontaneous and even a bit dangerous. Most of the stuff I said is hard to talk about out of context. But let's just say I never thought a line about an ex-children's TV host having carnal relations with a deceased infant which has been branded with the logo of a popular high street store would appear in this show and also get a laugh. I did say I'd thought of something so horrible that I wasn't going to say it, but the audience got it out of me.
It reminds me of a gig me and Stew did in Gravesend years ago. I would deliberately try and shock the audience by saying the most sick things I could think of. Usually Stew would have to stop me and apologise to the audience, but this time the audience were pushing me onwards. They wanted more. I got to a point where I disgusted myself, but the crowd were loving it. They were like a single entity, and we couldn't believe the reaction (I think I'd been talking about having sex with the eye socket of the skeleton of Pochahontas which is buried in the town). Yet it was quite a positive thing. It felt more like when you're deliberatlely offensive with a group of mates, knowing they will get the irony. And also having someone say an unacceptable thing in certain situations can act as a release valve. This is part of the job of comedy.
Tonight was good for me as after two or three slightly duff shows I felt I'd done one with some real passion. I felt like a real comedian. I am looking forward to doing the show again. But also very glad to be heading home tomorrow.

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