The phone conversations about censorship for this week's show have been dragging on for the last couple of days. I already felt bad enough about having to change the beginning, but yesterday the producer rang me and said that the compliance people had vehemently told her that the joke about Felix Wankel was not fit for broadcast. She said they had been shouting at her and telling her there was no way it could appear on Radio 2 at this time. This made me quite cross in return. Wankel is the man's name. He has done something remarkable (ie invented a rotary engine that is somehow important for motorcycles) and yet the people at Radio 2 feel the nation can not be allowed to hear his name for some reason. Yes, part of his name, taken on its own, is a rude word that I wouldn't expect to be broadcast at lunchtime, but does that mean we can't say the words "country" or "Arsenal" (incidentally they also stopped us saying "ass" in the phrase "bare-ass naked" and ass means donkey in this country).
Knowing that there was a possibility that they would insist on a cut we had recorded an alternate joke, but it wasn't as good as the Wankel one, which I think would have been acceptable in something like "Round the Horne" or certainly "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue." This is the joke that was the problem which is said by Emma in her Births, Deaths and Marriages bit, "The 9th October 1988 was a sad day for fans of the Rotary Engine as it saw the passing of Felix Wankel, inventor of the Wankel Rotary Engine. The royalties from which are entirely used up every year cleaning the graffiti off his gravestone. Fare well Felix Wankel. I for one see nothing amusing about your name and had you lived would have been proud to have become Mrs Wankel."
I think it's rather sweet and witty and no-one can complain about it. It merely says the name of a person. But the BBC seemed adamant and my producer felt she had argued the point as far as she could go.
I told her that she should keep the joke in but beep all the "Wank" parts of the Wankels as I felt this would just make the BBC look stupid and childish, but today she told me that they weren't even allowed to have beeps in a lunchtime show. I suggested maybe a different sound like a meow or something.
I have been feeling that maybe there isn't any point in doing this show if Radio 2 are going to be so unhelpful and counter-productive. I want the show to have a little bit of edge, but to be honest don't think these examples are anything very heavy. But if they're going to clamp down on us like this over things that you are not offensive - "ass"? C'mon. It's less offensive than "bum" which they didn't seem to mind - then it's not going to be a pleasant experience doing this show. I also felt that I have bent over backwards to accommodate their demands and they don't seem to be meeting me half way.
With the threat of resignation in the air suddenly the position at the BBC seemed to soften and last I heard the Wankel joke is allowed to go in. But I'll be listening with interest to see what happens.
I mean it's kind of pathetic to make a fuss about something that is essentially a slightly childish joke, and I can't imagine that it's ever happened to anyone else in any other job, "They wouldn't let me say "Wankel". I quit!", but I think it's important to stand up for what you believe. Even if what you believe is that you should be able to say a man's name on the radio, even if you are doing it to get a cheap laugh at the fact that there is a rude word in it.
