4309/17228
Lost another kilo by this morning! Phew, not the dieting disaster I feared. May even provide the impetus for greater loss. 10 days of plenty shall be followed by 10 days of famine.
Just to let you know Scotland that if you vote Yes to independence the Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker podcast will cost you £1000 an episode. This isn’t an empty threat. Think long and hard before you leave us. And if you don’t like Me1Vs Me2 Snooker then don’t think you’ve dodged a bullet, because for you I will be releasing extra, free and compulsory episodes. Also I won’t come back to the Fringe if you’’re independent. Or if you vote no. I will only come back if it’s an exact tie. You’re going to have to cooperate to make that happen. Find a voting buddy and let’s make this thing a draw. What happens then? Scotland becomes Limbo? Maybe it gets given to Wales.
Also for everyone else who isn’t in Scotland, to promote the iPhone 6 and that stupid watch thing that we’re all going to ridicule for a few months before buying one, I’ve done a deal with Ian Apple where all my podcasts will be given away to everyone for free. Search for them on iTunes and download them all before the paywall goes back up. Except for MciTunes where they will only be free if you type in the code “England is best than Scotchland and I promise to vote No”.
I am sure these tactics will work. I remember when Longshanks said to Braveheart that he had to do what he said or he’d put up all the prices of everything that that made Braveheart back down and admit that England was best than Scotchland.
If I was Scotch then I would definitely vote for independence now. In fact I still might do. I am just going to go to the polling booths and do my brilliant Scotch accent and say, “I am Scotch” and they will have to admit that I obviously am Scotch and let me vote.
Good to be back home with my stupid cats. Today Smithers sized up the spin dryer, looking at the closed door quite carefully, before then deciding to see if he could jump inside anyway. It turned out he couldn’t pass through the glass. But top marks for trying.
I was hosting a quiz tonight, which was fun, though a little bit tricky through the fug of jet-lag and after a night of disturbed sleep. I was glad it wasn’t a comedy gig and that much of what I had to do was written down and that although it was quite a boozy affair (for everyone but me) the crowd stayed reasonably well-behaved. I had to also judge which team had made the best cowboy out of tin foil. Though that might have been a hallucinatory episode. Easing my way back into work again, though I fully intend to take most of the rest of the month off, if possible.
