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September proved a bit of a disastrous month for the lose 25kg or die challenge. Before I went on holiday I was 80.8kg, but this morning I had ballooned back to 84.3kg. It’s an important reminder of how easy it is to slip back down the slope, though to be fair a good kilo and a half of that is due to having a bit of a blow out in Wales and then being too ill to run it off afterwards. It’s easy to let something like this dishearten you - I am back to what I weighed four months ago, so one month of not trying too hard (and not massively overindulging, have undone three months of effort) but I am back on the wagon and as soon as I have shifted this cold will be out running long distances. As much as it’s fun to aim for the ludicrous weight of 72kg (and as exciting as it was to briefly slip under 80kg in Edinburgh - where I was walking for two hours a day and going to the gym) I would be very happy to end the year around the 82kg mark. But this gives hope to the people who predicted I would still be as heavy at the end of the year as I was at the beginning. At this month’s rate of growth I could be 95.8kg by December 31st. It’s going to be a constant effort to keep the weight off, but this month is a reminder of that. It was fun to splurge a bit, but not that much fun. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my first bout of illness of 2014 comes at a point where I have let the diet go. Onwards and downwards.
I felt well enough to get out of bed today, but not well enough to get out of the house. And though I sat in my office trying to work it took me the whole day to complete my blog entries and a bit of admin. The tour starts up again tomorrow and it’s almost like my body has worked out the exact length of time it can be ill before giving me enough energy to drive to Winchester. I didn’t have the time or energy to work out what exactly I was going to do to turn my 60 minute show into 90 minutes, or even to refamiliarise with the script or even to reburn the CDs of the music. Where will the interval come in the show? Will I change the order? What other bits of stuff can I do?
I am little bit concerned about the tour this year. It has become vital to my working year that the tour is a “success” (by my standards) and makes enough money to fund my lavish celebrity lifestyle (the Terminator 2 pinball game cost me £2.99) and allow me to put out all my free stuff. In past years this has been working well, with, I think, the free podcasts channelling a few more people towards my live shows and allowing me to somehow remain secure. But this year I have taken a few risks and spent a lot of money on Meaning of Life and lost more money than I had anticipated in Edinburgh and we’re gambling further on the free RHLSTP videos and buying TMWRNJ, so I really need the tour to be a success. Which it might well be - I haven’t had any feedback on pre-sales, but my fear comes from the fact that there are 100 other comedians currently on tour. Which is a huge amount. I am sure I am usually up against only 30 or so other acts. Look at this lot. I am not sure even I would come to see me with that kind of competition. With TV paying less and being harder to get on to than ever, touring is the way for big name comedians to cash in, but is that going to lead to a situation (like at the Fringe) where the more obscure names are squeezed out of it? Even the most obsessed and wealthy comedy fan will probably only go to see four gigs a month. They would only get to see a quarter of the shows on offer over the next six months.
Whatever happens I have had some good years and am unlikely to starve any time soon and there are other things I can do to make money (my Hermione Hand Twin business is ready to go at any moment), but it’s a little worrisome. I am certainly not looking for pity and am just concerned rather than depressed about this. But 101 fucking tour shows. Come on. Everyone’s a fucking comedian these days.
Chris Allan just won this month's monthly subscriber prize draw for people giving a pound or more a month to fund future internet projects,He won: My Armenian Press Badge from "48 Hours To Go Broke".A rough-cut copy of the forthcoming We're All Going To Die DVD (slightly different content than will appear in commercial DVD)Stickers and programmes from my Edinburgh show.Next month's prize is my script from "Lord of the Dance Settee" with handwritten bits and a couple of pages missing and some coffee spilled on it. Potentially worth millions of pounds.To have a chance to win, plus get access to secret channel of extras, plus ticket offers and advance announcement of RHLSTP guests, plus a badge. All your money goes to funding future internet projects. Donate a pound or more a month at http://www.gofasterstripe.com/badges
