Ha ha, what rubbish suicide bombers! Not only did they fail to blow themselves up the first time, now they have failed to blow themselves up upon capture (like any self-respecting suicide bomber who wants to get to Heaven to start getting off with his 72 mentally unstable virgins). They even came out of their flat in their pants as requested, which is just tragic. Honestly, I think all the other suicide bombers in the world might just die of shame.
Assuming the police have the right people (and you know they have been known to make mistakes every now and again, but I have a pretty good feeling these guys must be gulity, because if they were innocent they would surely have been shot - it's like the modern day version of the witches's ducking stool) then I hope the punishment they receive will be a harsh one.
I don't think you should give unsuccessful suicide bombers the death penalty. That would be playing into their hands. As I may have discussed before (
it's certainly alluded to here) I believe that the only real punishment for very bad criminals is to keep them alive forever, so they can really be made to suffer for their crime and never experience the after-life. This is especially true of these suicide bombers, who only did their crime because they knew they'd be getting 72 virgins. They won't mine being executed at all, as they'll just be straight in there and even imprisoning them for life is hardly a punishment. What's a few years of waiting, when it's an eternity of 72 virgins to follow.
But keep them alive forever on a life support machine and they never get to go to Heaven and the virgins will all be snapped up by suicide bombers who were at least competent to blow themselves up when they attempted to or failing that when the police arrived.
Good news for me too. Apparently the 5th bomber who dumped his bag was travelling on the Central Line and probably got off at White City. So depending on which way he was going, he might very well have been on the exact same train as me. Maybe even the same carriage. I came that close to nearly being not blown up due to incompetence. Which is a better story than just passing the tube station where someone failed to blow some people up.
I can dine out on that one for months.
And I'd just like to give a little serious thank you at the end of this inappropriately jokey column to the men and women who put their lives at risks tracking down these mental and incompetent idiots. London salutes you.
